Episode 146: Of Lucid Intensity
Recommendation: Facing the Sun
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/693414/1/Facing-the-Sun
This transcript was provided by Sequoia Simone!
If you’re interested in joining the team, send us an email!
If you’d like to read the original work contained in this transcript, you can find it here!
Kim: I saw Colin yesterday.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah?
Kim: And he recounted to me the entire plot of Avatar 2.
Sequoia: [laughing] Good. So you don't have to go see it.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Nice.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Nice. How, how long - I mean, this movie's like, 17 hours long. So, like, did it take him 17 hours to recount the plot to you, or did he just like, he just gave it to you quick? Bullet points.
Kim: I mean he, it was just like one minute. [both laugh]
Sequoia: He didn't do any voices?!
Kim: No.
Sequoia: Aw, dang it. Well, you can't win them all.
Kim: Something about wales...
Sequoia: Yeah, do you remember?
Kim: Apparently, they don't fuck the whales like they fuck the birds or whatever. [Sequoia laughing] I don't know, man. That was the only thing I took away from it.
[Theme music (Wolfstar by the Whomping Willows: You know we really love you/It ain’t our place to judge you/You’re feeling scared about it/Naturally/There’s no point in hiding/So feel free to start confiding/If you need a good friend/You can count on me/You can count on me/You can count on me)]
Sequoia: Hello, I'm Sequoia Simone.
Kim: And I'm Kim.
Sequoia: And this is Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them.
Kim: A Harry Potter fan fiction podcast.
Sequoia: From the same place!
Kim: Yeah, how do you feel?
Sequoia: You know, I'm not used to doing a, like, genuine human eye contact podcast anymore.
Kim: You're holding eye contact a lot. [Sequoia laughs] I feel like, we don't usually look at each other this much, even when we're in the same room.
Sequoia: I don't know, is it weird to not look at you? Now I'm not looking at you. Is that weird? Right?
Kim: That's a little weird too. You gotta, you gotta mix it up a little bit.
Sequoia: I gotta.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And then, and then I'll look away and then I'll look at you again.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And then... I just don't know how to be around people anymore.
Kim: Same.
Sequoia: It's getting worse.
Kim: Same.
Sequoia: It's getting, it's getting worse [laughs].
Kim: Same, same. Yeah, it's wild cause I thought, like, how could I get any worse at this, this thing that normal people can do?
Sequoia: Uh huh.
Kim: And it turns out I have not found the bottom yet.
Sequoia: No, yeah, I mean it's-
Kim: I'm still digging, man. [both laugh] Or maybe it's just that, like, I haven't been out in a while, and now when I go out, it's even more obvious how bad I've gotten at this.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah. I just don't like, now I like work from home too, so...
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: I just like, I'm never around people.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And then I record podcasts all the time, but I record podcasts over Zoom all the time.
Kim: Sure. Yeah, and that's different. It's more structured. What I've really noticed is that I have just, like, completely lost all ability to function like a normal person at a person who works in the service industry. [Sequoia laughs] I'm conceptualizing it as I'm injecting a little bit of surrealism in their, in their day to day, you know, drudgery.
Sequoia: I mean, as a person who worked in the service industry for ten years.
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: It's, you know, it's fun to every once in a while have somebody come through where you're just like, wow.
Kim: And just have a complete mental breakdown trying to talk to you.
Sequoia: Yeah, it I mean, it creates variation in your day.
Kim: Yeah, alright.
Sequoia: Yeah [laughing].
Kim: Okay, good.
Sequoia: Creates a good story for later. [Kim laughs] You go home, your roommates are like, 'how was work?' And you're like, oh my God, this chick came in... Just stopped saying full words [both laugh]. Was doing finger guns at me.
Kim: Look, I can't control the finger guns. They just come out.
Sequoia: Yeah. I mean, you know, it's hard to... cause I can't really record in person in New York.
Kim: Mhm. Because you record in your closet.
Sequoia: I record my closet and that is a one person scenario. And the rest of my apartment, there's not enough like sound dampening happening. There's too many, there's wood floors and...
Kim: You have a large, a large empty apartment.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: With wood flooring. [Sequoia laughs] It's a great recipe for sound quality.
Sequoia: Exactly. So I can't really record in person anymore, but I did record in person with Olivia.
Kim: Oh nice!
Sequoia: For the Christmas BMiS. And we did it at Olivia's.
Kim: Which I was not invited to.
Sequoia: You were not invited to this year.
Kim: For some reason.
Sequoia: I'm very sorry. [Kim disgruntled noise] Oh my gosh! [both laugh] You keep giving me so much shade about it, even though you don't even like Christmas.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And you know what?
Kim: I am going to continue to do that [both laugh].
Sequoia: It's okay, we're recording a BMiS after we record this episode of FF.
Kim: We are. I'm pretty excited. That'll come out, I don't know when, what your BMiS schedule-
Sequoia: March.
Kim: March?! [Kim laughs].
Sequoia: Yeah [Sequoia laughs]. I'm way the fuck ahead on BMiS.
Kim: Nice work.
Sequoia: This show? We do what we do.
Kim: Just doing our best.
Sequoia: We do whatever we do whenever we do it.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: You know, but that show, that's my professional show [both laugh].
Kim: You can't keep saying that shit in front of the listeners. [Sequoia laughs] They're gonna start, they're gonna start realizing that this show's dumb [Sequoia laughs].
Sequoia: Oh, I think, I think they know.
Kim: Oh, okay.
Sequoia: I think, I have a sneaking suspicion...
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: That they know.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: Um, what else, what else, what else? Do we not, we don't really have any announcements or anything.
Kim: Nah man.
Sequoia: We're back from Christmas break. I hope that everybody had a wonderful holiday, and as you know, ready, rocking and rolling into the new year like we are.
Kim: Mhm. Do we have any resolutions this year Sequoia:, for the pod?
Sequoia: Oh wow. Resolutions for the pod?
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Specifically pod specific.
Kim: Does the pot have a resolution this year?
Sequoia: The pods resolution. Hmm. The pod's resolution...
Kim: I think. Let's, let's resolve to talk over each other more this year. I think that's a good resolution.
Sequoia: [over Kim:] More, more talking over eachother, that could be good. We could've really, actually do with some more of that.
Kim: [over Sequoia:] More cross talk? Yeah. Yeah. Less listening to eachother more talking over eachother. I think.
Sequoia: I think, also [both laugh].
Kim: Good.
Sequoia: That one's for the transcription team.
Kim: Oops.
Sequoia: Ahhhhhh. Um, oh. Speaking of the transcription team, actually though.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: We are always looking for, we've stopped saying it, we haven't said it in a really long time.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: But that does not mean we have stopped. The transcription team has stopped.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: But I did get the transcription team transcription software.
Kim: Oh, okay.
Sequoia: So, it's like a thousand times easier now.
Kim: Good.
Sequoia: So, you know, if you are interested in helping out with the transcription team, we can hook you up with that. We would love to have you over there. If you want to do one and never do one ever again. If you think it's fun, you can do more than one. Whatever.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: If you do two you get a pin!
Kim: Yep.
Sequoia: You get a big old giant enamel pin, a Hold for the Text Please-
Kim: Did you order giant-
Sequoia: I've shown you them! They're too big! [Kim laughs] And when I say too big, I mean magnificent.
Kim: Oh, right. Sure.
Sequoia: Right. But I just like, I have no, you know me.
Kim: Sure. You have no idea what size anything is at any point in time.
Sequoia: I have no concept of what...[Sequoia laughs].
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you are interested in joining the transcription team, shoot us an email fanaticalfics@gmail.com and we'll hook you up.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Do you want to do the thing now?
Sequoia: Yeah. Let's do the thing. It's time for predictions, folks. Get your predictions in.
Kim: Get your prediction hat on, pull up your prediction socks.
Sequoia: Oh! Prediction socks?! That's a fun one.
Kim: They're toe socks...
Sequoia: Do they have to be toe socks?
Kim: And each toe has... how many letters are in the word prediction? [Sequoia laughs] No one knows.
Sequoia: I don't know where you're going with this, but I'm gonna to tell you it does not work.
Kim: All right [both laugh].
Sequoia: If you have toe socks, slap those on as your prediction socks. If you don't have toe socks, you're I'm sorry, you're going to have to go with the hat. They have to be toes socks specifically. But yeah, slap on your prediction clothing and you can send your predictions to us by answering our story on Instagram. You can email them to us if you'd like to do that, you can shout them into the void and of course, if you are a patron on Patreon, go ahead and stick those in the Discord.
Kim: Yeah bud, but you want your clues?
Sequoia: Yes, please!
Kim: Clue number one is the title, the title of this fan fiction is "Of Lucid Intensity".
Sequoia: No [Sequoia laughs]. That feels like somebody just pulled some words out of a hat.
Kim: Uh huh!
Sequoia: That's so fucking mean. To me.
Kim: Of Lucid Intensity.
Sequoia: Oh, man.
Kim: The time period is post Order of the Phenix.
Sequoia: Oh, okay.
Kim: And the genre is romance slash drama.
Sequoia: No.
Kim: Romance slash drama.
Sequoia: Romance slash drama?!
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Shit. Prediction number one, this is a Luna lovegood centered fanfiction.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: Prediction number two, someone in this fanfiction is going to, like, ingest something that... I'm not, I'm not saying that they're going to do drugs, but that they're gonna... [both laugh].
Kim: Do something that alters their lucidity?
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Some kind of a potion that they accidentally drink or something to that effect.
Kim: You're thinking about the title too much. It is just three words.
Sequoia: [yelling] I know but theres, okay but there's nothing else to think about.
Kim: It's just three words.
Sequoia: There's nothing else to think about.
Kim: How about this? I thought I would ring in the new year with something FF.
Sequoia: Oh, my god. Okay, this is a... Okay, which one do I want to pick? Someone's gonna sing a song in this fanfiction.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: That's my third prediction.
Kim: Cool.
Sequoia: All right [Sequoia giggles].
Kim: Let's read "Of Lucid Intensity".
Sequoia: Fuckin title. Absolutely ruining my life [Sequoia laughs].
Kim: I'm not sorry. Chapter one... of two.
Sequoia: Of two?! Chapter one of two?!
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: "Why are heads turning?".
Sequoia: Oh, that's the chapter title?
Kim: Um Hmm.
Sequoia: Heads are turning because somebody came back from America hot.
Kim: Maybe. We'll see [Sequoia laughs]. It was normal that when Draco Malfoy walked into the Great Hall heads turned.
Sequoia: Every time. Every time.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And it's because he's like, screaming [both laugh].
Kim: Yeah. Yeah. He makes a dramatic entrance every time. Like, let me dunk on Weasley today. Hello, great hall. I've got a new tight 5. I'm Draco Malfoy!
Sequoia: Draco enters the Great Hall with a tight 5 every time.
Kim: About Ron, or Harry. Yes [both laugh]. It was normal that when Draco Malfoy walked into the Great Hall, heads turned, but something was wrong. Why?
Sequoia: [gasps] Are they not turning?
Kim: Because every head was turned.
Sequoia: Oh, some people have gotten used to his tight 5 over the course of time.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And so they don't turn anymore. They're like if you just wait. If you just wait a few minutes, he'll be done.
Kim: Yeah, exactly.
Sequoia: But this time he went to America and came back hot question mark.
Kim: Uhhhhh.
Sequoia: Goth! Question mark [Sequoia laughs].
Kim: Now, one would wonder why this was happening. I mean, Draco Malfoy is gorgeous and, well, sexy.
Sequoia: Gorgeous and sexy?! [both laugh] Amazing.
Kim: That's a little much. I don't know that that's true.
Sequoia: He is. He is. He absolutely is.
Kim: Is he?!
Sequoia: He's gorgeous and sexy.
Kim: But even so, not everyone fancied him.
Sequoia: Just most people.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Not everyone.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Just a majority of the student body.
Kim: Certainly not the Gryffindors.
Sequoia: Not out loud [both laugh].
Kim: But right now, as the Slytherin walked towards his table, all eyes were on him. Well, all eyes except for one-
Both: Harry Potter.
Sequoia: There he is.
Kim: Who was currently missing the sorting.
Sequoia: Oh, he's not there.
Kim: Harry's not there. He's not looking at Draco because he's not present.
Sequoia: But if he was present...
Kim: Who's to say?
Sequoia: I mean...
Kim: What would be happening?
Sequoia: We're to say, he would be looking at Draco. Cause everyone's looking at Draco.
Kim: Yeah, everyone's looking at him.
Sequoia: Oh, he's missing the sorting ceremony.
Kim: As per usual!
Sequoia: Right. That's true.
Kim: Harry missed like half of them.
Sequoia: Yeah, but he usually have an accomplice in missing the sorting ceremony. Right?
Kim: That's true.
Sequoia: So, but it's only him gone this time. Here's the thing... is Draco walking in midway through the sorting ceremony? Is that's why everyone's looking at him? [Kim laughs] Like, dude, come on the first years are just trying to get sorted. My dude!
Kim: You know what? Yes, I think that is what's happening.
Sequoia: Draco, chill the fuck out.
Kim: He did just, he wanted to make the most grand of entrances [Sequoia laughs]. He did that by entering in the middle of the sorting, kicking the doors down.
Sequoia: Right.
Kim: Fucking rude. Given this turn of events, any sane person would have started wondering why everybody was salivating over Draco Malfoy. But, as you can see, no one was sane at the time. They have all been driven mad by Draco's hotness?!
Sequoia: Um. Yeah, yeah, I see it. I think that that's [both laugh] sure plausible. Yeah, definitely.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: Why is he so hot now, though?
Kim: Who's to say? [Sequoia giggles]. No one was thinking straight because there was only one thought that occupied their brains, and that was jumping Malfoy.
Sequoia: Wow. Everybody calm down.
Kim: We don't say jumping like his bones, they just want to jump him, which is usually means like stabbing him.
Sequoia: Like beat him up. Yeah [both laugh]. Yeah, that's usually a violent encounter.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: I'm confused now. Now that you say that, now that you say that I'm confused.
Kim: I think they're just misusing it.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: But I do prefer to picture everybody wanting to. I mean, everyone wanting to beat the shit out of Malfoy is not so out of character, actually.
Sequoia: Yeah, no, that actually checks out.
Kim: Piece of shit, he's entered in the middle of the sporting ceremony, like shit can you sit the fuck down [Sequoia laughs]. Malfoy being the slithering that he was, don't know what that means, knew what was happening and couldn't help but be amused.
Sequoia: Oh, so he knows he's hotter than he was before.
Kim: He does.
Sequoia: He's done this on purpose.
Kim: He has. Well, no.
Sequoia: Oh okay.
Kim: Hold for the text.
Sequoia: Okay, okay, okay.
Kim: 'Hah! I knew this would happen the moment I stepped into this room. Hmm, I wonder if my mate saw me…’
Sequoia: [gasps] Fuck you man!
Kim: What?
Sequoia: Come on.
Kim: What?!
Sequoia: Is this a Drarry Veela fanfiction?! I swear to God.
Kim: Who's to say?
Sequoia: Holy shit.
Kim: [laughing] Who's to say what I'm doing?
Sequoia: We are entering like our fucking sixth year of existence as a podcast.
Kim: Yeah, I'm throwing it back.
Sequoia: Okay. So he's so hot because he's a veela now.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Okay, nice.
Kim: 'I wonder if my mate saw me'.
Sequoia: Who's his mate?
Kim: 'If my mate is even here, that is'.
Sequoia: He usually misses the sporting ceremony.
Kim: Yeah. Come on, Draco.
Sequoia: Why would he be there?
Kim: 'I just,' Draco mused, but the thought was cut short when Dumbledore started his usual speech. Dumbledore. Go away.
Sequoia: I'm having an internal monologue [laughs].
Kim: An expositional internal monologue [both laugh]. 'Hmm, what was I thinking about again? Oh, yes, my mate.' [Sequoia laughs] This internal monologue is straight fire.
Sequoia: Okay but like...
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: Hypothetically.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: It's not internal?
Kim: [both laugh] You can think that.
Sequoia: Sure, I think he's just saying it out.
Kim: Saying it out loud, real loud at the Slytherin table in the middle of Dumbledore's speech?
Sequoia: Dumbledore's trying to talk and he's like 'hmmm, what was I thinking about?'.
Kim: 'Oh, right'.
Sequoia: 'My mate!' I like that.
Kim: And then we get colon, italics, all caps, flashback, colon.
Sequoia: Fuck. Yes.
Kim: FLASHBACK! It was summer and Draco Malfoy was back home with his family. They were all in the library doing something of their choice.
Sequoia: The family is hanging out in the library together.
Kim: They don't, yeah, but they're each doing something of their choice. Yeah.
Sequoia: I mean, what would they be doing together? Would they all be reading the same book? They're not-
Kim: They're doing- they're playing- [laughing] they're reading out of the same book. They're taking turns.
Sequoia: One of them is holding the book, and then the other two are just sort of over the shoulders of that person. And they're all smiling wildly and reading a book together.
Kim: Okay, that's buckwild.
Sequoia: No, that's not what they're doing.
Kim: Good for them.
Sequoia: They're all doing their own thing. But in the library together, like a family.
Kim: Yeah, they're hanging out like a family. Sounds fake. [Sequoia laughs] After a few minutes, Lucius Malfoy had had enough of his son.
Sequoia: Oh my God. It's been like two and a half minutes.
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sequoia: And Draco's doing nothing. He's literally just reading a book.
Kim: Lucius Malfoy had had enough of his son and bluntly said, "Draco, will you please stop pacing? It's giving your mother and me a headache." So Draco's pacing.
Sequoia: Reading a book?
Kim: Maybe! [Sequoia laughs] No, just pacing dramatically and sighing loudly, I would guess.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Kim: "Yes, Father, I am sorry. It's just that I can't stop thinking about my mate. Who she might be, what she'd look like, her social status, everything about her actually."
Sequoia: Her Social Security number [both laugh].
Kim: Childhood pet.
Sequoia: Mother's maiden name.
Kim: What is he trying to break into of theirs, Sequoia:? What does that mean?!
Sequoia: Some sort of password blocked account!
Kim: [laughing] Stupid. Wants to see if they have- wants to see their Netflix movie selection to see if they're compatible.
Sequoia: I think it's really important. Yeah. Wants to see that. And probably also their bank account.
Kim: Yeah sure.
Sequoia: Probably also wants to look at their bank account. [Kim laughs] Not to take the money. He doesn't need the money.
Kim: He just wants to take a peeky peek.
Sequoia: He just wants to see how much money they have.
Kim: Um Mhm. [whistfully] Everything about her... [Sequoia laughs]. With a sigh, Narcissa told her son, "Draco, honey, I know what you're going through. Believe me, I do."
Sequoia: His parents are Veelas?
Kim: At least one of them is.
Sequoia: Incredible.
Kim: Hold for the Text. "It's just that you can't do anything about it right now. So you're going to have to be patient. Oh, and, sweetie, your mate isn't necessarily a woman. Your mate could also be a man."
Sequoia: [gasps] Whaaaaaat?!
Kim: Gasp. Scandal. Who's ever heard of such a thing in 2003? [both laugh] Oh, I mean, what. Sometimes, do you sometimes forget that it's 2003?
Sequoia: I do.
Kim: When we enter the studio-
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: It turns into 2003.
Sequoia: Yeah. Sometimes I forget that this, that the studio is actually a time machine.
Kim: Um hmm. It's a bad time.
Sequoia: It's a yeah, it's not a time you really want to go back to. TBH.
Kim: Oh god. It's 2023. Fuck.
Sequoia: Oh my god.
Kim: Fucking hell, this story's almost 20 years old.
Sequoia: Woo!
Kim: Get me out of here. [both nervously laughing] Happy birthday.
Sequoia: All right. Podcast's over. Thanks so much for coming. We have to go have a total breakdown.
Kim: Every once in a while we have to have that realization. [Sequoia laughing] Shit. Okay. Your mate could be a man.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: "Really?! But I thought I read," Draco stammered, not fully understanding. "Draco, stop stuttering. It's not becoming of a Malfoy."
Sequoia: Why don't you fucking leave, Lucius? You're not helpful.
Kim: [laughing] He's reading. Draco's the one who's being an asshole. Why should Lucius leave?
Sequoia: Take your book, get out of the library.
Kim: "Draco, I know you've read books about you being a half veela and everything," He's a half veela.
Sequoia: Oooooh.
Both: On his mother's side?
Kim: She did say she was the one that understood what he was going through. So, I guess.
Sequoia: So, yeah, probably his mother's side, okay.
Kim: Or they're both half veela maybe.
Sequoia: Maybe?
Kim: You never know.
Sequoia: Who knows?
Kim: Literally never know [Sequoia laughs] what's happening. "I know you read books about you being a half veela and everything, but not all facts about veelas are written. And this is one of them." It's left out of the books that all veela are bisexual [both laugh].
Sequoia: That's an oral history that we just passed down through generation to generation.
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sequoia: No need to put that in the, on the books.
Kim: Exactly. It's a secret that bisexual people exist at all.
Sequoia: Right. Okay, again, it's 2003.
Kim: Yeah, bud. Bisexuals never heard of them. [Sequoia laughing] Fuck. Shit. Get me out of here. We got to go back, Sequoia:. We got to get back to the 2020s. "You coming into your inheritance will be so much more than what any book can say. And, as you know," It's his veela puberty [giggles].
Sequoia: Right, cause you got to have veela puberty. You got to have it. Otherwise, we would have known the whole time.
Kim: Right. And The Care and Keeping of You: Veela Edition doesn't have all the facts in it.
Sequoia: No. And how could it?
Kim: Yeah, that's true.
Sequoia: How could it accurately convey to you what it's going to feel like when the wings burst forth from your back?
Kim: Or whatever.
Sequoia: Or whatever!
Kim: "And, as you know, this will be happening on your 17th birthday, so be prepared for changes." answered Narcissa. Colon, italics, all caps-
Both: end of flashback [both laugh].
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Colon.
Sequoia: Yeah. I was thinking we would sort of like, it's the movie version of this fanfiction... We're sort of zooming out, the picture begins to sort of warble, right, as we travel out of the, out of the flashback while the song plays, "[singing] turn and face the strange, ch-ch-changes!"
Kim: [both laughing] Oh, man. I think maybe we get like a slow montage, like fade out of Draco from how he was in the flashback to how he is now. Because he has gone through the physical changes.
Sequoia: Oooooh face on face.
Kim: Yeah, yeah. Let's do a slow morph while playing that song. Yes.
Sequoia: [laughing] Yeah.
Kim: That is what's happening. Thank you.
Sequoia: You're welcome.
Kim: So, we've ended the flashback. Now, you know the reason why every single head turned in our blond's direction the moment he walked in.
Sequoia: Yeah, cause he's hottttttt.
Kim: Why is he our blond?
Sequoia: You know, we all...
Kim: We all love Draco here.
Sequoia: [laughing] We all love Draco here. The author knows who's here.
Kim: Oh.
Sequoia: The author knows who's come to the fanfiction. Okay.
Kim: Yeah, they do. They do indeed. As Narcissa said, changes would occur, and occur they did. It's so funny. This fanfiction is written pretty funny. [both laugh] Not only did he grow from 5 foot 9 to 6 foot 1... That's a lot to grow in like three months!
Sequoia: That sounds painful.
Kim: Yes!
Sequoia: This sounds painful.
Kim: Every time that happens to one of the boys, I'm always like.... Why'd you do that to them? [Sequoia laughs] They look all stretched out like taffy now. Poor boy.
Sequoia: Oh, no.
Kim: So he's all stretched out like a taffy man now. [Sequoia laughs] But he's also filled out in all the right places.
Sequoia: I was about to say... all the right places!
Kim: So here's the thing, Sequoia:.
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: When they say that, that's like an idiomatic thing about girls, that is said.
Sequoia: Yeah, uh huh.
Kim: That they fill out in all the right places. And I hate saying it with my human mouth every fucking time.
Sequoia: Yeah, it's awful.
Kim: But it's like, it's a way to refer to girls growing up into women. Yeah, it's never used for boys, in my experience. I think the author just did that because they maybe aren't sure where boys are supposed to fill out [both laugh]. But it's the right ones they say.
Sequoia: It's the right ones.
Kim: They've assured us.
Sequoia: I mean, yeah, it's a, it's a phrase that you sort of pick up through reading a bunch of fanfiction.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And maybe you just apply it wherever you're like, I don't want, I don't want to elaborate here. I either don't want to or, or I don't know.
Kim: I don't know! They're hot now. I'm not sure what it means. It's your imagination.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: He filled out in those spots.
Sequoia: Cause I was thinking when you were like, he got streched out like a taffy man. I was like, yeah, but he probably also got super, like, fit.
Kim: The right places.
Sequoia: Yeah, he got, he got, like, buff, but not, like, too buff, not like really buff.
Kim: But what if my definition of the right places is like, major dad bod?
Sequoia: That's true. This is very-
Kim: Got a little ponch. Filled out in the right places, little ponch.
Sequoia: This is very up to interpretation [both laugh].
Kim: Looks great. Taffy man with a little ponch. [Sequoia cackles] Shit. I swear, I like men. What's happening [both laughing].
Sequoia: [laugh crying] What's going on?!
Kim: You know, men... You know their bodies... You know how they look... We know where the right places are.
Sequoia: [laugh crying] What is this?!
Kim: I want the tears to come out of your eyes. What I have to say to make them come out.
Sequoia: They are! They are! Why are you doing this to me? I hate it.
Kim: Cause it's not as easy to do this over Zoom. I have to seize my opportunities when they come up [both laughing].
Sequoia: Oh, wow. Murder me. Okay.
Kim: His hair seemed to be a bit longer now and shinier, if that were possible.
Sequoia: Oh, wow. We didn't know.
Kim: Yeah, we thought it was already so shiny.
Sequoia: It's hard to look at. It's reflecting the light in such a way.
Kim: Uh oh. He's doing that thing Harry was doing in the last fanfiction where he gets brighter and brighter [both laugh]. His face was that of an angel, and his actions were that of effortless grace.
Sequoia: Wow. Amazing.
Kim: He's great. Looks great.
Sequoia: You gotta look.
Kim: Everyone's looking.
Sequoia: Gotta turn your head.
Kim: But these weren't the only changes.
Sequoia: Does he have wings right now?
Kim: No, they're not giant bird men in this fanfiction, as far as we can tell.
Sequoia: Dang it.
Kim: But you can picture that they are.
Sequoia: Okay. I might.
Kim: Apparently young Malfoy had a mate. He's been on and on about it so far, I think we got that.
Sequoia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kim: One that he would need to find soon.
Sequoia: Oh, so he doesn't know who his mate is yet?
Kim: Nope, not yet.
Sequoia: So it's very instrumental to the fanfiction that the only student at Hogwarts that is not currently present is Harry Potter.
Kim: So conspicuous.
Sequoia: So conspicuous!
Kim: Oh my God [laughs]. He needs to find his mate soon. The mate would become his entire world. Without his mate he would die.
Sequoia: Yes, yes, yes!
Kim: Why is this everywhere?
Sequoia: I love it!
Kim: Actually know you what? No, I know why this is everywhere. It's fucking Star Trek.
Sequoia: It is?
Kim: The thing that Vulcans do, what's it called, the Pon Farr or whatever.
Sequoia: You are asking the wrong person. Yes, good. Do the Google. Do the Google.
Kim: Yeahhhh, the Pon Farr.
Sequoia: The Pon Farr.
Kim: It's when the Vulcans go into heat and if they don't do it, they fucking die [Sequoia cackles].
Sequoia: Sure.
Kim: Or whatever. And so this is Star Trek's fault.
Sequoia: Okay. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Sounds, sounds like a solid hypothesis. Yeah, I mean, this is my favorite.
Kim: Yeah?
Sequoia: You have to add some urgency. You gotta add a time line.
Kim: I mean, I think this is such a wild thing, though, because... Yeah, there's only, like, ten wizards, but you're rolling the dice that you're in the same country as your soulmate. Unless you have multiple soul mates.
Sequoia: That's true.
Kim: Wild.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah, that's very true.
Kim: Wild. Or you die.
Sequoia: Or you die.
Kim: That's why there's only like, there's only, like, ten wizards. There's only, like, two veela. [Sequoia laughs] They keep dying! He would love only one person, and he would only be happy with his mate. But-
Sequoia: Yeah. Otherwise, he's dead.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah [both laugh].
Kim: Oh, yeah, true. But what he didn't expect was that his mate would be the one he least expected. Yeah, he didn't expect it because it's his least... [Sequoia laughs] Okay, we're okay, we're gonna push through this.
Sequoia: We're okay. We're okay. We're okay!
Kim: But that's life. It has a way of hitting you with-
Sequoia: But that's life baybeeee!! [both laugh] Sorry what?
Kim: Isn't that good?
Sequoia: It's so good.
Kim: Coming to the end of the first chapter, we got to put a button on it for some reason. But that's life, it has- maybe I'm like smoking a cigaret at the bar. But that's life, kid.
Sequoia: Is that the narrator?
Kim: Maybe!
Sequoia: The narrator is smoking a cigaret at the bar?
Kim: Yeah. Sometimes you get the bar and sometimes...
Sequoia: But that's just how the cookie crumbles, kids.
Kim: But that's life. It has a way of hitting you with its ugly rear when you least expect it.
Sequoia: What? [cackles]
Kim: You know, life's ugly rear?
Sequoia: You know, ugly...
Kim: Instead of life's sexy, sexual rear. [both laughing] What?
Sequoia: It's got both.
Kim: It's got both.
Sequoia: It's got both.
Kim: Yeah, life's got two butts.
Sequoia: [laugh crying] I'm sorry, I'm crying again.
Kim: Who said that? That was a weird thing to say. [both laughing] Who could have possibly said that?
Sequoia: Okay. That's good. Sure. Great. That's how it, that's how it is baybeeee.
Kim: You know, life.
Sequoia: [laughing] You know.
Kim: Chapter two.
Sequoia: Chapter title?
Kim: "And the search begins".
Sequoia: Ah, the search begins.
Kim: We already know who it is. It's okay.
Sequoia: Yeah, it's okay. It's fine.
Kim: We're going to walk with Draco on this.
Sequoia: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Kim: It's about the journey Sequoia, come on. [Sequoia laughs] Dinner, which consisted of people who kept throwing themselves at Draco's feet every now and then, had ended.
Sequoia: Oh my gosh. [Kim laughs] Draco's like, I'm just trying to eat.
Kim: Come on, everyone.
Sequoia: Keep it together.
Kim: I know. I'm really, really, really hot right now.
Sequoia: So hot, hot-hot-hot-hot-hot.
Kim: It's so funny. He's like, driving just like normal people insane. What is he going to do to Harry?
Sequoia: I don't know, but I'm excited to see.
Kim: Dinner's over and Draco is walking around the halls rather pissed off. 'Ugh, the nerve of that Slytherin, trying to... I shudder at the thought'.
Sequoia: Which Slytherin?
Kim: Some Slytherin. No details about what they've done.
Sequoia: Pansy Parkinson-
Kim: Put her fingers in Draco's mouth. [Sequoia cackles] All of them.
Sequoia: Yes, every single one. All ten!
Kim: Yeah [both laughing]. The nerve! Stupid. Deciding to go outside for some fresh air and peace and quiet, Draco turned a corner which led to the gardens. But upon turning, he caught the most amazing-
Both: -scent-
Kim: -he had ever smelled.
Sequoia: Of course he did. Of course he did!
Kim: Every time, every time.
Sequoia: He smells him.
Kim: Why are they, why are they all the same? [Sequoia laughs]I love them so much.
Sequoia: I love them so much!
Kim: They're all the same. I- that's one thing that I really love about fanfiction, is that like once a like a premise, a story premise, it'll become like memetic and you'll see it everywhere.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: It's so fun to see different authors takes on them. I actually really enjoy that about fanfiction.
Sequoia: Me too. I like it a lot. I like that harry is just hanging out [dramatically] in the garden.
Kim: In the gardens. I think this is more like a, like a vegetable- I think, Hogwarts has vegetable gardens.
Sequoia: Yeah, I think they do. Yeah, yeah.
Kim: That's, I think that's the thing. So not like, I don't know either it's a vegetable garden or it's like a fancy hedge garden.
Sequoia: I gotta assume there's like a tree and he's sitting underneath the tree. Right?
Kim: Maybe. He caught the most amazing scent he had ever smelled. It was spicy, yet sweet. Like cinnamon and vanilla, but different.
Sequoia: [gasps] Cinnamon.
Kim: Harry smells like cinnamon again today.
Sequoia: What the fuck?
Kim: Yeah, but different. Maybe it's... burnt... cinnamon.
Sequoia: [laughing] It's smells like cinnamon, but there's something...
Kim: It's a little...
Sequoia: It's a little...
Kim: It's a little burned.
Sequoia: Toasty! [Kim laughs] A little roasty toasty.
Kim: Why? Why is this a thing? Name any two scents Sequoia:. One of them's cinnamon.
Sequoia: [laughing] Oh god.
Kim: It was musky, but not too strong to make one dizzy. You know, when musk is so powerful you become dizzy [both laugh].
Sequoia: Oh, yes. Uh huh.
Kim: So overcome with a sexual musk. [Sequoia cackles] I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get you now.
Sequoia: [laughing] Goddamnit.
Kim: It was one word, the scent, perfect. Just plain perfect.
Sequoia: Wow.
Kim: He had to find the owner of this scent.
Sequoia: Follow your nose, Draco!
Kim: He was as sure as the day he was born that this scent belonged to his mate and nothing in the world would stop him from finding them. Draco changed direction and walked quickly through the halls following the scent.
Sequoia: I like, I gotta imagine he's got his nose up in the, he's literally following his nose.
Kim: Yeah. Like a cartoon character going for a pie.
Sequoia: Exactly.
Kim: Every time.
Sequoia: Every time.
Kim: With each passing minute, the scent was getting fainter and fainter. And with each minute that passed, Draco's frustration and desperation grew.
Sequoia: No!
Kim: And as the scent finally disappeared, a feeling of emptiness and sorrow replaced hope.
Sequoia: So sad.
Kim: He's lost him. Where did Harry go?
Sequoia: Um. Yeah, where?
Kim: Where did he go? They're just running through the hallways.
Sequoia: He's on his nightly jog.
Kim: I wonder if Harry knows Draco's following him, and he's like, Fuck that shit... sprints off. He returned to the dungeons feeling rather cross and went to his dorm to get ready for bed. The only thought that was in his head before he slept was that his mate was in Hogwarts. And given enough time, he would be able to locate them and give them his heart, body, mind and soul.
Sequoia: Damn. What's the, were are we giving an actual timeline on the death?
Kim: No, not yet.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: We don't know how soon Draco's going to fucking die. [Sequoia laughs] Bye Draco.
Sequoia: But there's only so many students. So all he's gotta do is sniff every student. It's like Cinderella's shoe [both laugh]. Draco's gonna get people to line up so he can sniff them.
Kim: Or else he'll die.
Sequoia: [laughing] Or else he'll die.
Kim: Just ask Dumbledore for help. All right, now we get three pluses and then a big chunk of italics.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: Draco walked in a field full of lilies.
Sequoia: Oh, this is a dream,.
Kim: Uh Huh.
Sequoia: Yes!
Kim: Gonna do a dream sequence. Masses of lilies and roses were on the ground... Lilies [exchanged "ha" noises] were on the ground and with every step of his, the roses and lilies he stepped upon withered.
Sequoia: Oh, it's a bad, that's a bad omen.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: This isn't a good dream.
Sequoia: No.
Kim: The once pleasant smell of flowers turned putrid, and this made Draco uneasy.
Sequoia: [laughing] Yeah.
Kim: A little uncomfortable. Everything smells like shit. Where I step smells like shit, this probably doesn't mean anything. [Sequoia laughs] Then suddenly he saw a figure in the distance. And from the looks of it, it seemed to be male. [laughing] Shit. Stupid. Oh, Surprise!
Sequoia: [mock surprise] What?
Kim: 'I wonder who that could be?' Draco asked himself.
Sequoia: [whispering] Oh Draco...
Kim: Slowly, the figure turned and walked towards him. Not knowing what to do Draco didn't move, but after a while he started moving. Slowly at first, then faster with every second that passed by. But he's doing that dream run where you don't go anywhere.
Sequoia: Right, yeah, it's kind of like slow motion except that it's not your, yeah, moving at full speed. Um, are the flowers still dying at his feet?
Kim: I think so.
Sequoia: Yeah. Oh boy.
Kim: Gross. He didn't know why, but something was different. This person wasn't normal.
Sequoia: [laughing] What?
Kim: I don't know what that means. It was as if there was something pulling him forward toward the figure. Oh, he's more attracted to them.
Sequoia: Right.
Kim: In no time, the two were a few inches apart. "Who are you?" asked Draco. "I am who you want me to be." answered the man.
Sequoia: [whispering]That's nothing.
Kim: "I was hoping you would speak in English."
Sequoia: Oh my gosh, Draco.
Kim: I mean, he did just say some nothing.
Sequoia: That was nothing. But also [laughs]...
Kim: He could be nicer. [both laugh] As he spoke, a scent different from the putrid one that he was getting used to, drifted to his nose.
Sequoia: It's cinnamon. Burnt cinnamon.
Kim: [laughing] It's burnt cinnamon, why does everything smell like shit still? [Sequoia laughs] Different shit. And then it hit him like a bludger to the head. "You're my mate." And with that sentence, he immediately looked up to see who it was. It was indeed a man. But something was wrong.
Sequoia: No!
Kim: He couldn't see his mates face.
Sequoia: Of course.
Kim: It was like a shadow was covering it. So tragic, Sequoia: what's Draco gonna do?
Sequoia: Wake up.
Kim: Something wasn't right. He couldn't understand what was happening. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Sequoia: Did he say that out loud?
Kim: No.
Sequoia: Oh dang it.
Kim: It's funny though. Everything was supposed to be perfect. He would find his mate, and then we got a spelling mistake that I've left in here because it's funny, woe his mate.
Sequoia: [both laughing] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Kim: No, not whoa.
Sequoia: Oh, okay.
Kim: Like woe as in sadness.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: Woe is me!
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Woo his mate and then they would bond, marry and live happily ever after together. But right now, things weren't looking that way. He looked up again and what he saw almost made him cry out. His mate was vanishing while turning to walk away from him. "Why? Why is this happening? Damnnit, why are you leaving? Why?" Draco cried.
Sequoia: Say why just like a couple more times.
Kim: Why?! [Sequoia laughs] Oh, woe is me.
Sequoia: Whoa!
Kim: Let me woe you. [Sequoia laughs] Sorry. I can't help it, sometimes when the spelling mistakes too good.
Sequoia: It's just too good.
Kim: Gotta leave it in there. With a jolt, Draco woke up screaming, "Why?!" [Sequoia cackles] I love that trope.
Sequoia: That's really good.
Kim: So good. Looking around his room, panting and all sweaty, he realized it was all just a dream, a nightmare that he hoped would never happen.
Sequoia: Oh, no.
Kim: But the dream didn't leave his mind. It kept him awake for most of the night. What if he fucking dies, Sequoia?
Sequoia: Because his mate is constantly running from him. Yeah!
Kim: Because his mate is an idiot who will sacrifice himself and will die, and therefore, Draco will die. That'll be funny.
Sequoia: Exactly. Yeah.
Kim: Maybe.
Sequoia: Or, you know, get himself into his, kidnaped or something. And we're on a timeline.
Kim: Harry's just a terrible person when you're on a tight deadline or else you die [laughs].
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah, he's too, he's too busy getting himself into some fuckin shenanigans.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: To be around for you to smell him. For you to get a good sniff.
Kim: Then we get three plus signs.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: A passage of time.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: The night went by and Draco's mind was still not at ease. Unable to get back to sleep, Draco got up and prepared to go to breakfast early. He was hoping to be the first so that he would be able to discreetly smell his mate's scent among bypasses. He's doing exactly what you said he should do.
Sequoia: I knew it he's gotta-
Kim: He's going to go-
Both: smell every student.
Sequoia: And I feel like it's hard to do from the Slytherin table. So he's gotta find an excuse to be standing next to the doors of the Great Hall.
Kim: The doors, yes.
Sequoia: Sniffing every student.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: I fucking love this. [both laughing]
Kim: He's going to discreetly smell his mates scent. You're not being discreet little buddy.
Sequoia: You cannot possibly be discreet.
Kim: There's no way to do that.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: The only consolation the dream had given him was that the search for his mate was now easier. Learning that his mate was male made the list he unconsciously made a lot shorter. I think it's half, actually. Not a lot.
Sequoia: Yeah, it's about a half. Yeah.
Kim: And also, that was a dream. I don't know why he's like you can so dead set that it's, that's correct.
Sequoia: Exactly. There's no reason for him to believe that that's true.
Kim: Unless he believes in divination a lot more than I would guess that he does.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: But whatever.
Sequoia: Maybe it's a veela thing.
Kim: Oh, it's a veela power .
Sequoia: There's like a veela dream power.
Kim: Mkay.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Maybe. People were starting to come in, and he still wasn't able to catch hold of his mates scent. He couldn't keep this up. People were starting to stare, wondering why he was standing there.
Sequoia: Sniffing them.
Kim: He is just standing by the doorway, smelling everyone walking in.
Sequoia: Oh, boy. Draco, this is not discreet.
Kim: Nope. He's just like pretending to tie his shoe for like, half an hour.
Sequoia: Draco's, everybody's looking like, ugh has Draco ever tied his own shoes before? [Kim laughs] He's got someone for that.
Kim: Right, usually Vinny does it.
Sequoia: Yeah. [both laugh]
Kim: I'm surprised they're not all throwing themselves at his feet again, also.
Sequoia: They got over it.
Kim: Maybe that's what it is, he's like you need to move so that I can smell people.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah. Yep.
Kim: They are so suspicious, Draco mused.
Sequoia: Well, you're being fucking weird.
Kim: Yep, yep. With an exasperated sigh, he went out of the Great Hall into the gardens. He needed some air anyway, with all those since he was starting to get dizzy.
Sequoia: So he can smell everyone.
Kim: Must be, yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Seems like he's got a stronger sniffer.
Sequoia: Super smeller.
Kim: Yep. Walking in the gardens always cleared Draco's thoughts, but for some reason, this wasn't the case right now. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Thoughts were swirling in his head. But one thing was for sure, he wished with all his heart that his mate would love him.
Sequoia: [sadly] Oh.
Kim: And that the dream would never come to pass, or it would be the death of him.
Sequoia: Literally.
Kim: Dot, dot, dot and his heart. [Sequoia laughs] I think if you die...
Sequoia: I think your heart also dies. Yeah.
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sequoia: I think that's how that works, sort of biologically.
Kim: It actually probably is the reverse, your heart dies and then you. [both laugh] Suddenly he heard a twig snap. 'Someone's here,' Draco thought... In the gardens.
Sequoia: Sniff, sniff!
Kim: Curious about who it was he slowly crept around, trying to be as silent as possible. Then, out of nowhere, a hand covered his mouth and another hand twisted his arm to keep him from moving. The man whispered something to Draco, his mouth very near Draco's ear. The only thing keeping Draco from heckling the man to next week was his heavenly scent.
Sequoia: Smellllll! Sniff, sniff!
Kim: Sniff, sniff, sniff, I smell you now. Apparently his first meeting with his mate was far from what he had imagined it would be.
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: It certainly wasn't supposed to be this way, but who was he to complain? All he knew was that this was his mate, and that if he wanted something to happen other than him ending up in a room with Madam Pomphrey, he would have to speak up now... And that is the end of the story.
Sequoia: Oh you fuck, you absolute, you, you, you!
Kim: I mean, I think we can all see what's going to happen next. Harry is gonna be like, why the fuck are you following me?
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: And Draco is going to be like, because I love you [Sequoia laughs]. No, Draco's gonna say something stupid and fuck it up.
Sequoia: Draco's gonna see him... gonna be surprised...
Kim: And then you know, drama, etc. etc., birdmen, etc. etc., [Sequoia laughs] true love, etc. etc.
Sequoia: You know... birdman. Yeah. Wow.
Kim: There you go.
Sequoia: Well, you know, in this, the year 2023.
Kim: Mm hmm.
Sequoia: Thank you for bringing this. [both laughing] Wow.
Kim: You got no points.
Sequoia: I got no points, man. You said, you said an FF thing.
Kim: I did.
Sequoia: And... I should have picked up on it.
Kim: Should have guessed Drarry.
Sequoia: I should have guessed Drarry, at the least.
Kim: Mm hmm.
Sequoia: If not veela entirely. [Kim giggles] Wow. Somehow, every time you do one of these, because I never find them, and somehow you find them all the time. You bring them, you brought me so many of these, and I'm like, how have I never stumbled across one of these.
Kim: And they're all the same.
Sequoia: And you keep bringing them to me. And I keep thinking it's the last one because you couldn't possibly find another one. Amazing.
Kim: You can't stop me.
Sequoia: Yeah, you can't be stopped. Listeners....
Kim: Can't be stopped. You want to do a segment?
Sequoia: I do.
Kim: Let's do a-
Both: quick fics.
Kim: So you, Sequoia:, have brought us something today. A little something that is beautiful and shiny and perfect in its own little way, but maybe wasn't right for reading on the main pod section. What do you got?
Sequoia: This was a listener submission, so shouts to Anna Jadwiga. This story is called Caffeini Zabini.
Kim: [laughing] What? Is this a story about Blaise getting really caffeinated?
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: They discover Starbucks.
Sequoia: Blaise gets all caffeinated up.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: And becomes a superhero?
Kim: What.
Sequoia: A caffeine based superhero.
Kim: What super powers could they possibly have?
Sequoia: They, like, really want to be a superhero and...
Kim: Okay, mood.
Sequoia: And I think they sort of manufactured the superhero-ness of just like having had a lot of caffeine in their system. And Hermione is a main character in this story.
Kim: Why?
Sequoia: I just think you guys should read it. [both laugh] This is a quick fic slash rec zone.
Kim: All right, I'll take it. That sounds silly.
Sequoia: Because it's weird and wild. Caffeini Zabini, Britain's new superhero.
Kim: Sure. Thank you.
Sequoia: Okay. Well, now that we've done that, it is now time to get to the real place where you tell us what a fanfiction we should read. And that is-
Both: the Rec Zone.
Kim: Today I have a story called "Facing the Sun." It is a wolfstar fic.
Sequoia: Oh, yay!
Kim: Um, Sirius has an idea to Remus, you know, werewolfing has taken a real toll, so Sirius has an idea for how they can maybe help Remus find some recovery time.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: And, they do that.
Sequoia: That sounds very nice. We haven't had a good wolfstar rec in a hot minute, so...
Kim: That doesn't sound true.
Sequoia: We haven't had a wolfstar rec in a minute.
Kim: Okay. Maybe.
Sequoia: Is maybe true, Maybe not.
Kim: I have no memories.
Sequoia: You can find the link to that story in the description of this episode, and you can also find it on our website.
Kim: fanaticalfics.com.
Sequoia: Also on our website is the story submission form. The quick fic today was submitted by a listener, so make sure to keep sending us that weird, weird, wild stuff.
Kim: You found some stuff that I haven't done yet, send me some veela stuff that I haven't done yet.
Sequoia: [laughing] Oh, God.
Kim: Also on our website is some merch. We've got some bookmarks on the website, as well as a link to our teepublic, where we have a wide variety of designs on a wide variety of objects.
Sequoia: You can find us on social media, Instagram, Facebook at @fanaticalfics.
Kim: You can also email us at fanaticalfics@gmail.com, like I mentioned at the top of the episode, you can email us to join our transcription team. The help would be appreciated.
Sequoia: If you would like to help out the pod in any other way, plus and or whomever, you can leave us a review on Facebook, on Apple Podcasts, or as has been done in the past and would love to see again, sidewalk chalk on your driveway. .
Kim: To...oh shit it's 2023 Sequoia:.
Sequoia: Fuck!
Kim: We forgot to fucking talk about this.
Sequoia: Shit, damn, hell, ugh!
Kim: Why are we so fucking stupid?
Kim: So we just had a several minute long meltdown about, while trying to brainstorm what segment of area we want you all to be tricking this year and could not come to any conclusion. [Sequoia laughing] So here is the conclusion we reached.
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: We are opening a Google form.
Sequoia: [both laughing] We're going to make you guys do it for us.
Kim: You all can send us the area that you think you want to be tracking.
Sequoia: Yeah, what should we, do we go bigger? Do we go bigger than the planet?
Kim: Do we go home?
Sequoia: We go big or we go home? [Sequoia screaming]
Kim: Oh, we got to get out of this episode, Sequoia:. I'm over it.
Sequoia: [cackling] I hate this.
Kim: Send those in the links in the description.
Sequoia: It closes in a week. We'll just do it really quick.
Kim: There's one more way you can help the pod it's to join our Patreon and come enjoy our bonus content, etc., etc.. [Sequoia laughing] Thanks to our patrons for supporting this stupid bullshit and thanks also to the Whomping Willows for letting us use their song Wolfstar as our theme song. You can find that and more of their excellent music at thewhompingwillows.bandcamp.com.
Both BYE!!