Episode 119: Waiting for Snorlaks
Recommendations: Lunas Birthday
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1778984/1/Luna-s-Birthday
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Transcriber: Abbey
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Sequoia: You know how sometimes our listeners sort of call you out on something and you feel horrified by it?
Kim: Yeah, I'm very poorly behaved.
Sequoia: So I just need you to know that in the mind of at least one listener, this podcast, and us…
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: We are sort of inextricably linked to the song Hotel by Pitbull.
Kim: Hotel Room Service…
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: …by Pitbull? Sure.
Sequoia: Yeah, Hotel Room Service. In the way that they send us a Twitter message with…
Kim: Yes?
Sequoia: [laughs] With a TikTok in it that was about the song Hotel Room Service and said, this reminded me of you. [both laugh]
Kim: I mean, I did a sin.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: I brought up that bad song that I also love.
Sequoia: Yeah, it's in the playlist and it haunts us all, but I just thought that you needed to know.
Kim: Okay. I knew you were going to bring this up, because you were fucking humming it upstairs when we were prepping, and now it is stuck in my head. [Sequoia laughs]
[Theme music (Wolfstar by the Whomping Willows: You know we really love you/It ain’t our place to judge you/You’re feeling scared about it/Naturally/There’s no point in hiding/So feel free to start confiding/If you need a good friend/You can count on me/You can count on me/You can count on me)]
Sequoia: Hello, I'm Sequoia Simone.
Kim: And I'm Kim.
Sequoia: And this is Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them.
Kim: A Harry Potter fanfiction podcast.
Sequoia: Wow, that was so calm. [both laugh]
Kim: [in a soothing voice] It's a new year, Sequoia.
Sequoia: Is it?
Kim: [still soothingly] New year, new me.
Sequoia: Oh, it is. It is a new year.
Kim: [soothingly] Maybe I'm living here now…
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: [soothingly] …when I present on the podcast.
Sequoia: [laughs] I highly doubt it. [both laugh] Nice try, though.
Kim: We found out from the Spotify Wrapped season that we are some people's podcasts they fall asleep to. Maybe, we should be hitting more there. [Sequoia laughs] I would assume that this kind of energy isn't great for falling asleep to!
Sequoia: I would assume that, but evidence would tell us otherwise. [both laugh] Welcome to the podcast, everybody. We read Harry Potter fanfiction here. But first, we wanted to remind you. This is a reminder to submit your questions.
Kim: Here…
In Unison: [singing] …to remind you! [both laugh]
Kim: That’s already on the playlist.
Sequoia: That's already there.
Kim: Whoo!
Sequoia: Whoo. We're here to remind you to submit those Q&A questions, Harry Potter trivia questions, Fanatical Fics canon questions, trivia questions, to us for our livestream. And I think that's it.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: I think that's all.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: I don't have anything else to say. We're recording this, you know, like way, way before it comes out.
Kim: Yeah. We're doing a timey wimey thing right now…
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: …because we have the Christmas recording scheduled a little bit after this because we have things lined up. So I'm going to read you something.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: And you're not going to make some references that I think the listeners are going to find odd.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: And It's only because we're recording this before the Christmas episode.
Sequoia: Oh, I won't be referencing the Christmas episode.
Kim: Yes. They're going to be confused by that.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Because you are made of references.
Sequoia: Exactly.
Kim: I need them to know it's just because of the way our schedule lined up.
Sequoia: It's not because I changed in any way.
Kim: So we're depending on you, the listener, to substitute those references in instead. [both laugh]
Sequoia: Yeah. We usually don't do such a timey wimey thing…
Kim: No.
Sequoia: But we are attempting to have a good two whole weeks, three whole weekends off this year.
Kim: Yeah. Yeah. That's weird.
Sequoia: Where we don’t… podcasting is still happening.
Kim: We usually…
Sequoia: Podcasts are still being released, but we are not doing any personal work.
Kim: We usually do such a disaster at the end of the year, I feel like.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah.
Kim: We have a crush of episodes that we do for some reason. We're stupid.
Sequoia: We do like seven episodes…
Kim: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sequoia: …and it's a nightmare. Well, I have two podcasts now. [laughs]
Kim: Yup. We're going to record a lot.
Sequoia: Yes, because you are… you did, as has already been released, as of the release of this episode, you have already done the Christmas episode of BMIS.
Kim: BMIS and FF. So…
Sequoia: Yeah. So make sure to check out us two talking about Love Actually on BMIS as well.
Kim: I bet that went really well. My god.
Sequoia: I bet it did, too. [laughs] Timey wimey! [makes bubbly noises]
Kim: Man, oh, man. We haven't recorded this far in advance in some time.
Sequoia: That's true.
Kim: This is a weird space for me to be existing in.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Let's continue.
Sequoia: Awesome. I'm excited…
Kim: I guess, let’s do the thing.
Sequoia: …about what you found here for me.
Kim: So am I.
Sequoia: For us.
Kim: This one's been living on my list for a while, because I just didn't quite… the timing, I wasn't feeling it. [Sequoia laughs] I wasn't feeling the timing.
Sequoia: Yeah. Uh huh. No, that's… that’s fair.
Kim: So I'm going to do it today. Let's get some predictions in, my friend.
Sequoia: And also, listeners, do some predictions if you'd like. You can Tweet them at us, #FanficDivination. You can answer our story on Instagram, you can write a little jingle about your predictions and record it and send it to us. You can draw them in a picture. You can do a variety of things with them, but we'd love to see them.
Kim: You're going to speak them into my ears, Sequoia.
Sequoia: I'm going to speak them into your ears and they're going to be bad. So…
Kim: Cool.
Sequoia: …gimme those clues.
Kim: They might not be, actually.
Sequoia: Oh!
Kim: I think this title might be something…
Sequoia: Okay!
Kim: …to grasp onto in some way. Maybe it's not, actually. [Sequoia laughs] The title is Waiting for Snorlaks. Snorlaks is not spelled like the Pokémon.
Sequoia: Okay!
Kim: It's a K instead of an X.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: Waiting for Snorlaks.
Sequoia: Okay. S… okay. Wait. No, I don't think this helps me as much as you think maybe it would have helped me!
Kim: Never mind. Never mind. [both laugh] I don't know why I said that. I… you know. The genre is romance/humor.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: The Time period is post Order of the Phoenix.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Did I click on this story hoping that it was a Pokémon crossover? Maybe.
Sequoia: [laughs] Well, at least you’re… now you're giving away that it's not a Pokémon crossover.
Kim: It might still be. [Sequoia laughs] I'm saying that when I clicked on it, I was like, maybe Pokémon.
Sequoia: [laughs] Ah, okay. So, I'm going to guess that this story isn’t… it's not a Pokémon crossover, but is references… sort of fumbled references to Pokémon within it. So I am going to [both laugh] guess that somebody who snores a lot is referred to as Snorlaks.
Kim: Huh. Okay.
Sequoia: Prediction number two. Someone is trying to go to sleep in this fanfiction and is continue… people continue to bother them.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: Prediction number three, this is a Luna Lovegood fanfiction.
Kim: Your predictions are accepted. We've locked them in. [both laugh]
Sequoia: Oh, yeah, we're still going with this, huh?
Kim: You are going in a direction and then you pivoted and we'll talk about it, I think, how you've done.
Sequoia: Well, I… I felt I couldn't go all in one direction.
Kim: Right. That was a bad move.
Sequoia: I do it too often. So…
Kim: It was a bad move to go in. I think maybe we're thinking about Pokémon and not that we’ve misspelled something else.
Sequoia: Fuck! [both laugh]
Kim: ‘Cause we… I think we… we’ll talk about it. We’ve definitely misspelled something in the title.
Sequoia: Okay. Okay! [both laugh] Okay.
Kim: All right. Harry Potter was not entirely sure why he was sitting in the middle of a dark wood.
Sequoia: Oh, so he's… he’s found himself there.
Kim: No.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: There's a reason why.
Sequoia: Okay. [laughs]
Kim: Considering how cold the summer night had managed to get and the way that the dampness of leaf mold and whatever else was on the forest floor was seeping through the knees of his jeans, one would have thought he would be making for home. But instead…
Sequoia: He's just crouched in the forest.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: In the night?
Kim: Waiting for snorlaks.
Sequoia: Oh, waiting for snorlaks! Okay, right.
Kim: Or something else, sorry.
Sequoia: Yeah, if you're… if you’re sort of waiting for a creature to arrive in some kind of a clearing…
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: …in the forest or whatever, and you're kneeling behind something to hide.
Kim: I don’t know why you need to wait for snorlaks, though. They're all… they’re in the way of the road that takes you…
Sequoia: [laughs] Jesus Christ. Is this gonna… is this episode just going to be full of Pokémon references that I only half get?
Kim: I don’t know. Is it? [both laugh] One would have thought he would be making for home, but instead he was holding perfectly absolutely still…
Sequoia: Mmm. Yes.
Kim: …with no more thought of moving than of flying his firebolt to reach Jupiter. He exhaled slowly, wondering again why exactly he let himself get talked into these things.
Sequoia: [laughs] Because he's such a nice boy.
Kim: He's a good boy.
Sequoia: Is the problem. [laughs]
Kim: He’s a good boy.
Sequoia: He's so nice. Who talked him into doing this?
Kim: [in a floaty voice; used for Luna throughout] “Not so loud.”
Sequoia: [gasps] Yes, I knew it! [laughs]
Kim: You did manage to pick up what was misspelled in the title.
Sequoia: Snorkacks?
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah, I didn't…
Kim: Oh!
Sequoia: …until literally you just said that right now.
Kim: Oh, okay.
Sequoia: What I picked up on was they were hunting some kind of a magical creature.
Kim: …weird magic creature.
Sequoia: Therefore, it must be Luna Lovegood.
Kim: Oh, yeah, that checks out.
Sequoia: But now that you say that out loud with your mouth, I get it.
Kim: I'm nearly positive they've misspelled snorkack. [both laugh] That's okay.
Sequoia: That's okay! But you did click on it thinking that it was a Pokémon crossover. [laughs]
Kim: Maybe! That would have been fun, wouldn’t it? Luna Lovegood, Pokémon master?
Sequoia: Yeah. Oh, please!
Kim: Fuck! [laughs] “Not so loud,” came a hissed whisper from somewhere nearby, and Harry remembered why.
Sequoia: Not so loud? What is he doing? He's literally not moving.
Kim: He sighed.
Sequoia: Oh, he sighed.
Kim: He went… [sighs]
Sequoia: [sighs] Why is this my life?
Kim: Mhm. “Are you sure tonight's the night, Luna?” He was starting to wonder about himself. Any sane boy would have taken Ron up on his offer and ensured a fake snorlak sighting by now.
Sequoia: Was Ron going to dressed up… dress up as a snorkack and just like…
Kim: Snorlak, please.
Sequoia: Snorlak, sorry.
Kim: We're going to roll with the mispelling.
Sequoia: Okay. With the Snorlaks. Lak. Lak.
Kim: Snorlak.
Sequoia: Yeah, I bet Ron's offer was to just, [bro voice] okay, all dress up as one. Even though nobody knows what that is or what that looks like.
Kim: Uh huh. Yeah, they're made up. [both laugh]
Sequoia: But since they're made up…
Kim: Luna knows what they look… Luna has a picture in her mind.
Sequoia: Right. That's true. They could have asked her. They could have been like…
Kim: Gone back to back issues of the Quibbler, maybe.
Sequoia: Yeah, I bet there's a drawing somewhere, or they could have had her do a drawing that then Ron would base his costume off of, but he probably wouldn't be very good at making the costume, so Hermione would have to make the costume for Ron to show up in the clearing as a snorkack.
Kim: Oh, this is very elaborate. [laughs]
Sequoia: Listen, I… [laughs] A whole backstory here, but he didn't take him up on that.
Kim: No.
Sequoia: So that's not going to happen.
Kim: The story says, But no, not Harry Potter. He didn't take Ron up on his offer. Night…
Sequoia: No, because he believes Luna and he's…
Kim: Well, I don't know that he believes Luna, but he's here to support her.
Sequoia: He believes Luna believes that there’s going to be…
Kim: Yeah, exactly.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Night after night, he left his comfortable bed in the Burrow…
Sequoia: Oh my god.
Kim: …to tramp out… what?
Sequoia: Night after night?
Kim: Yeah, they've done this…
Sequoia: Oh no! [laughs]
Kim: …for a while.
Sequoia: Oh, Harry! [laughs]
Kim: Harry, honey, what are you doing?
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: He left his comfortable bed in the Burrow to tramp out into the woods and kneel for several hours next to Luna Lovegood.
Sequoia: [laughs] How many times do you think that tonight has been the night that the snorka… snorlak will arrive?
Kim: Night after night. I would guess they've been at it for like a week.
Sequoia: Yeah, that checks out. [Kim laughs] I feel much more than a week, Harry's like, okay, Ron, put on the costume.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Yeah. A week, though, seems like…
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: …we're getting to the point where I'm fed up with this, but I am here still.
Sequoia: [laughs] I'm sighing loudly in the brush.
Kim: Yeah. [laughs] Kneel for several hours next to Luna Lovegood waiting for sight of an animal that Hermione was prepared to swear on penalty of never being allowed in a library again did not exist.
Sequoia: [gasps] That’s serious.
Kim: That’s serious. That’s fuckin’...
Sequoia: That’s some serious stuff.
Kim: Hermione is like, life on the line. [both laugh]
Sequoia: [laughs] I swear this thing doesn't exist.
Kim: This is nothing.
Sequoia: I hope they… I hope they find one.
Kim: Right?
Sequoia: Whenever Hermione is like, no, it doesn't exist, I'm like, I hope she finds one.
Kim: Hermione, this is a world of magic.
Sequoia: Yeah! [laughs]
Kim: You gotta just roll with it, buddy. Sometimes you've got to roll with it. All of this because of a single, stupid kiss.
Sequoia: Aggh! Aghhh! Oh, what?
Kim: I found you Haruna.
Sequoia: Yes. I love Haruna! [both laugh]
Kim: There’s got to be a different name for this. [both laugh] Don’t know what it is!
[laughter]
Sequoia: That’s it. That’s it.
Kim: Rolling with it.
Sequoia: Haruna, Chaco. [both laugh]
Kim: Lol! It hadn't been deliberate.
Sequoia: The… the kiss.
Kim: The kiss.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: We're entering… [Sequoia makes wordless sounds] oh, shit. We're entering a flashback.
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: It had been Christmas time, and the Weasley twins had, in the spirit of the season, sold Dumbledore a case of enchanted mistletoe practically at cost.
Sequoia: [laughing] They had? Dumbledore.
Kim: What?
Sequoia: Dumbledore!
Kim: Times are… days are dark and so they need some brightness. Some Christmas cheer with enchanted mistletoe.
Sequoia: Mistletoe? Mmm.
Kim: Yikes. Probably don’t do that.
Sequoia: Nope. Don’t do that.
Kim: That’s a yikes. That’s going to be a yikes from me.
Sequoia: That’s gonna be a big yikes from me
Kim: Don’t do that. Don’t do this thing. Always a bad idea. Doing it anyway.
Sequoia: [laughs] Classic Dumbledore.
Kim: I've been holding on to this story for a while.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: I found it some time ago, and I just like didn't ever feel up to doing it because it's partially a Christmas story, but partially not.
Sequoia: Okay. This is a great time.
Kim: Exactly.
Sequoia: I see what you’re… I see… I see.
Kim: We're still in the Christmas mood, but we are past Christmas.
Sequoia: Right.
Kim: So I'm going to read you a half Christmas story. [both laugh]
Sequoia: All right, Dumbledore’s got his hands on a case of enchanted mistletoe.
Kim: Yes. [both laugh] Luna had been walking to the library besides Ginny, when some had appeared over her head. And Harry had found himself sprinting down the corridor… [laughs]
Sequoia: What?
Kim: …to get to her before Malfoy did, as the git had a look in his eye that Harry did not trust in the slightest.
Sequoia: Malfoy was going to go over there?
Kim: So Ginny and Luna are walking down the hallway.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Enchanted mistletoe appears above them.
Sequoia: Uhhhh huh.
Kim: Malfoy gets a nasty Malfoy look in his eyes.
Sequoia: And the nasty Malfoy look is like, Ginny Weasley is underneath some mistletoe, or is it Luna Lovegood…
Kim: Hold for the text.
Sequoia: …is under some mistletoe?
Kim: Hold for the text! Harry interprets it as, Luna is under some mistletoe, and starts fucking booking it. [both laugh]
Sequoia: I’m just like…
Kim: It’s like, no! You can't touch Luna!
Sequoia: True.
Kim: Because it would be mean. That wouldn't go well.
Sequoia: True. Also, when you said he started running, I immediately interpreted it as that was part of the enchantment of the mistletoe. [both laugh]
Kim: It does kind of seem that way.
Sequoia: You're like, oh, Luna has found herself under this mistletoe. The… the closest boy wtih the… [laughs]
Kim: Every person who is interested.
Sequoia: Every person!
Kim: Surprised Ginny doesn't get to her first, honestly. [both laugh] Of course, several months of hindsight made it clear that Malfoy had been looking at Ginny that way.
Sequoia: Ah, yes.
Kim: Lol!
Sequoia: That's what I thought.
Kim: Background Drinny.
Sequoia: [singing] Background Drinny!
Kim: And that the redhead fully approved of such looks being directed her way.
Sequoia: Oh! No, she didn’t.
Kim: No, she doesn't. Drinny. Whatever. [both laugh] I'm not in the mood for Drinny today.
Sequoia: Right, but Harry is booking it…
Kim: To protect Luna.
Sequoia: …to intercept Luna.
Kim: To… he's protecting her. She gets bullied. But at the time, he hadn't been aware he was making an idiot of himself. He's getting in the way of Drinny.
Sequoia: Right.
Kim: By sprinting… [both laugh]
Both: Noooo!
Kim: Punching the mic stand. [both laugh] Okay. I'll stop actually running motioning. Instead, he'd stood there panting as the damned mistletoe had drifted a few inches to hover over his head.
Sequoia: Ohhh.
Kim: It's not clear how…
Sequoia: Oh. What is the enchantment on the mistletoe?
Kim: It seems it might just be that it hovers over your head.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: And then there's no like…
Sequoia: Just hovering mistletoe?
Kim: Yeah. Which isn't as bad as it sometimes is in mistletoe fics.
Sequoia: Maybe it's like true love's first kiss mistletoe.
Kim: I don't think it is.
Sequoia: No?
Kim: I think it just hovers.
Sequoia: Okay. Well. [laughs] It's decided Harry is… Harry's the person now.
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: Great.
Kim: He'd stared at it for a moment in mild horror, trying to work out what he was supposed to do. Come on, Harry, buddy.
Sequoia: Harry, you could…
Kim: Harry, buddy, you know…
Sequoia: You could just leave. [laughs]
Kim: Well, I think the mistletoe would follow him then, and then you run all kinds of risks.
Sequoia: Yeah, that's true. That’s true.
Kim: Romilda Vane, most notably.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Who doesn't exist yet, but whatever. [laughs] In canon.
Sequoia: That’s fine. She's there.
Kim: She’s there. Oh, working out what he was supposed to do. Come on, Harry. He could kiss Ginny, but he was fairly sure that she'd hit him, just as she had Ron when he had kissed her cheek instead of allowing any other boy to kiss her the last time she'd been caught under the mistletoe.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah, she's like, Ron, whatever! I'll make out whoever I'm… get out of my face!
Kim: I’ll make out with Draco if I want to! [both laugh]
Sequoia: [laughs] Draco is just following Ginny around waiting for her to be under mistletoe.
Kim: Yes, I think he is.
Sequoia: Why is he there? Yeah, He's following her around. [laughs]
Kim: He's definitely following. Yeah, and Ron and Harry keep getting in the way. [Sequoia laughs] That's very funny.
Sequoia: Stupid.
Kim: He could kiss Luna, but it’d be… dot dot dot.
Sequoia: Oh, he could kiss Draco.
Kim: Well, no. Not today, unfortunately. At that thought, he had looked up into Luna’s wide blue eyes and his heart, which had almost settled back to normal after his run, had started thumping, as if it had a full snare kit and was auditioning for a rock band.
Sequoia: I like that.
Kim: That is good. Luna was pretty, very pretty.
Sequoia: Oh. Ohhhh!
Kim: And, wow, her eyes were the exact shade that the ocean had been in the picture postcard Hermione had sent him from Jamaica where she was holidaying with her parents.
Sequoia: [laughs] That's a really long description! That’s really involved. That’s super involved. [both laugh]
Kim: Harry is having a lot of thoughts.
Sequoia: Listen, very quickly there's a lot background information.
Kim: A giggle had interrupted his thoughts, and Ginny leaned over to kiss Harry's cheek. “There, you're free. Happy Christmas, Harry.”
Both: Ginny! [both laugh]
Kim: Ruining it.
Sequoia: Ginny, stop it!
Kim: “Uh, happy Christmas, Gin,” Harry muttered, equally relieved and disappointed that the mistletoe was now floating away. I th… maybe… it… It kinda seems like it's enchanted to hover until someone gets a kiss.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah. That's a good enchantment. I like that.
Kim: It hovers in the area, switching between people.
Sequoia: Like, come on, somebody.
Kim: One of you!
Sequoia: I like that it responds to kisses on the cheek too.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: That's good.
Kim: Do you think it would do like a blown kiss? [makes a kissing sound, then blows]
Sequoia: Only if you catch it and then put it in your pocket. [both laugh]
Kim: I like it. I like it, I like it, I like it.
Sequoia: [laughing] So stupid!
Kim: “My turn,” Luna had said merrily.
Sequoia: Nice, Luna! Get it!
Kim: Nice! Luna’s going for it. [both laugh] Snatching the mistletoe out of the air…
Sequoia: Oh my god!
Kim: …with reflexes that a professional seeker might envy. [both laugh]
Sequoia: She was… when… when Ginny kissed him on the cheek, Luna was also like, Ginny. Ginny, fucking go away! [both laugh]
Kim: She's moving, though. Then she'd planted her lips on Harry's.
Sequoia: Nice.
Kim: Nice. Completely shorting out his mental processes before smiling at him vaguely and going on her merry way. [Sequoia laughs] Classic.
Sequoia: Classic Luna.
Kim: Very good.
Sequoia: Nice.
Kim: Love to see it.
Sequoia: She's… is she still clutching the mistletoe? [laughs]
Kim: Possibly. [both laugh] Walks off clutching the mistletoe. Sure, yes. [Sequoia laughs] When he came to his senses, thanks in part to a hard shove by a certain Slytherin… Draco's like, fuck you for ruining my chances…
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: …with Ginny. I'm going to have to follow her around the rest of the day. [both laugh] Ginny is pretending that she doesn't notice Malfoy following her.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Very funny.
Sequoia: [laughs] That’s good.
Kim: Harry had started trying to track down a sprig of mistletoe in order to casually release it in Luna’s vicinity.
Sequoia: Oh my god!
Kim: Is that… wait. Is that what Draco is doing?
Sequoia: Ohhhh!
Kim: Might be what Draco is doing.
Sequoia: Yeah, that's good.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: His plans were foiled by every shred of mistletoe in the castle being destroyed, thanks to an incident that no one dared speak of, which involved a furious Snape and a transfer student named Serena. [chuckles] We've got a background Mary Sue OC.
Sequoia: Nice, nice, nice. [laughs]
Kim: Some funny shade. Just very funny shaping from here offhand.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
Kim: Love to see it.
Sequoia: Oh, man, all the mistletoe's gone.
Kim: Dang it!
Sequoia: Now I'm going to have to go kneel in a dark forest.
Kim: Wait six months and kneel in a dark forest.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: It's summer time when… we… that we flashed back from.
Sequoia: He couldn’t… yeah, he couldn't possibly… he has such a struggle.
Kim: Yeah. Should have just written some poetry for her for Valentine's. Gotten Ginny’s help.
Sequoia: Yeah. Exactly.
Kim: Oh, that would have been a disaster. [Sequoia laughs] In any case, Harry had spent the remainder of the school year trying in general to be in Luna’s vicinity, and to get an idea of whether or not he dared to make a move in the direction of her lips without there being mistletoe involved. Tragic.
Sequoia: Tragic.
Kim: Harry.
Sequoia: Harry.
Kim: Harry, buddy. Harry, buddy.
Sequoia: It is surprising the Ginny didn't notice and attempt to…
Kim: Yeah. She might be a little distracted.
Sequoia: Oh, right. She isn't paying attention.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Yeah. She was also mad when all the mistletoe went away. [both laugh]
Kim: There were several disappointed parties, I think.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: [laughs] Ron's opinion was that he was insane, both for having what appeared to be a truly gargantuan crush on Luna Lovegood and for not simply snogging her out of hand.
Sequoia: [laughs] Ron, you're one to talk, okay?
Kim: Yeah. Ron?
Sequoia: Buddy? Ron?
Kim: Ronald?
Sequoia: Get the fuck out of here with that, okay? [both laugh]
Kim: Fucking Ron. [bro voice] Just kiss her! [blows raspberry] This usually led to Harry making a reference to Viktor Krum and/or the Yule Ball.
Sequoia: Yes, good. Good, good, good.
Kim: He gets it.
Sequoia: Harry’s got it.
Kim: Fair and square. What kind of reference to Viktor Krum do you think it is?
Sequoia: Is it… is it that Ron…
Kim: Clearly had a crush on Vicky?
Sequoia: …clearly wanted to make out with Viktor Krum? [laughs] Yeah.
Kim: I think it is. In my head canon of this fanfiction, it is.
Sequoia: Harry's like, yeah, why don’t you just snog Viktor Krum? Huh? Huh? [both laugh]
Kim: And Ron’s like… [splutters wildly] [both laugh] Which invariably led to a certain amount of burning red Weasley ears and roughhousing that threatened anyone in the vicinity with severe bruising.
Sequoia: [chuckles] Just get in a little… little fight.
Kim: That was… yeah, I guess they get into a literal fist fight.
Sequoia: Literal fist fight every time this comes up, which is like probably once a week.
Kim: Yeah. Where's Hermione? Talk some sense into these dummies. [Sequoia laughs] Helping Ginny.
Sequoia: Oh, yeah.
Kim: She's busy too.
Sequoia: She is too. Yeah.
Kim: Ginny and Hermione are busy. After a short sojourn… that was really hard for me to say for some reason.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Short sojourn at the Dursleys’, just long enough to maintain the blood bond, Harry had decamped to stay with the Weasleys, just a very short broom ride away from where Luna and her father lived.
Sequoia: Huhhhh! [Kim laughs] Fancy that!
Kim: He’d tried to sound casual as he asked about Luna, but Ginny had spent rather a lot of time grinning at him in a distinctly smarmy manner, so he thought he'd probably failed at it.
Sequoia: Yup. You definitely did, my dude.
Kim: [in a wobbly voice] Soooo anybody seen… seen Luna? You guys see a lot of the Lovegoods? [fake choke] [both laugh]
Sequoia: Ginny, help him!
Kim: In any case, Luna had been invited to dinner, and she had issued an invitation to go snorlak hunting. So he went.
Sequoia: Nice. This is good.
Kim: Yeah?
Sequoia: Do you think Ginny invited her to dinner?
Kim: Yes. Absolutely.
Sequoia: She's helping.
Kim: I think there's an implied background Draco/Ginny kind of resolution, and she's back on the… back on paying attention mode.
Sequoia: Okay. Yeah. Once she could pay attention a little bit more, she was like, oh, this is happening? Excellent.
Kim: Excellent. [both laugh] Oh, here we… we're going to find out how long this has been.
Sequoia: Oh, good.
Kim: Night after night for two weeks now.
Sequoia: Two weeks?!
Kim: That's longer than I would have put up with that.
Sequoia: No, Harry, come on.
Kim: Come on, buddy.
Sequoia: Get Ron in the snorlak suit. We got to do it.
Kim: Yeah. Harry.
Sequoia: [whispering] Harry.
Kim: Oh, so Harry.
Sequoia: Or just say anything.
Kim: Yeah, that'd be good too. He’d made his way from the Burrow into the woods that ran between the Weasley and Lovegood properties. He’d decided that on the whole, he rather hated nature in general, and woods in specific. [both laugh]
Sequoia: Me too, dude. [both laugh]
Kim: Oh, man. Yeah. Trying to get Sequoia come camping is…
Sequoia: [chuckles] Ooh, it's something.
Kim: …very funny. He had acquired countless mosquito bites, a distinct creak in his knees. Sit some other way, dude. Never mind. And a mysterious rash…
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: …in a place that didn't bear thinking about.
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: Harry.
Sequoia: Maybe he did try sitting differently…
Kim: Harry, honey.
Sequoia: …and he got a rash.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: So now he's just trying to have as little contact as possible with the ground and surrounding foliage.
Kim: Yeah. That's what it sounds like probably.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim: Still, he thought that she'd been smiling at him in a special way the past few days, and so he persevered.
Sequoia: Oh, Harry.
Kim: You’ve got to do a little… Harry.
Sequoia: Harry? [laughs]
Kim: Harry?
Sequoia: I'm going to need you…
Kim: Talk!
Sequoia: …to speed it up a little bit.
Kim: Maybe she's shushing him a lot, though.
Sequoia: That's true. He did sigh.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And she did think that was a little too loud.
Kim: “Yes, tonight's definitely the night,” she said, the feel of her breath on his neck…
Sequoia: Oh!
Kim: …breaking him out of his reverie. She got very close very quietly, or else he was like really deep in thought.
Sequoia: [laughs] Yeah, well, she's trying.
Kim: That was a very… that was a very long flashback we just had.
Sequoia: That was a really long flashback. No, she’s trying… she has to get really close, so [whispering] she can be really quiet.
Kim: Oh, right.
Sequoia: Because otherwise they'll scare away the snorlak.
Kim: Sure. He jumped, [Sequoia laughs] not having realized she was so close, and managed to bump his head backwards into her skull.
Sequoia: Nice!
Kim: She gave a little…
Sequoia: Smooth moves.
Kim: Yeah, right? Smooth. Very smooth. This is going really well, Harry, I'm so proud of you. She gave a little shriek and clutched her nose as he whirled and stared at her in horror.
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: “Are you all right?”
Sequoia: Oh no. [chuckles]
Kim: “Fine,” she said, waving one hand casually while still holding on to her nose with the other.
Sequoia: Oh, no, you broke her nose. Harry! [both laugh]
Kim: “Let me see,” he said, walking on his knees to where he was directly in front of her. He took her hand in his and moved it down from her nose, relieved to see that it was still the correct shape and bore no signs of bruising.
Sequoia: Good.
Kim: He didn’t actually hit her that hard.
Sequoia: Good, good, good.
Kim: “You should be [in a slight shriek] okay!” [Sequoia laughs] That might have been a little too intense, whatever.
Sequoia: What’s that where you tried to…
Kim: “You should be okay.”
Sequoia: Were you trying to intonate via what the text told you, or was that something that you were picking up on?
Kim: The last word had come out as a squeak.
Sequoia: Okay. [laughs]
Kim: Trying to do a voice break. [hiccupily] O-kay!
Sequoia: [laughs] [hiccupily] Okay.
Kim: [hiccupily] Okay. Maybe that was it.
Sequoia: [laughs] That's good. I liked that. That was good.
Kim: Because once again, she had looked at him… [laughs]
Sequoia: Oh my goodness.
Kim: Harry!
Sequoia: Harry, wow, dude.
Kim: …with her big blue eyes, and all thoughts had decided to abandon him en masse.
Sequoia: Oh, Harry. Harry, my friend.
Kim: Deep breaths, buddy.
Sequoia: I only wish that every time he described the blue of her eyes, he used a different…
Kim: Postcard?
Sequoia: …incredibly specific reference. [laughs]
Kim: Yeah. Postcard was very funny.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: He's never seen the ocean before. You know what? He actually [chuckles] probably hasn’t.
Sequoia: Now that I'm thinking about it. [laughs]
Kim: Oh, Harry!
Sequoia: He might have never seen the ocean.
Kim: Oops. It took a minute for his ears to manage to get his brain’s attention away from devoting all available resources to memorizing the way her lips curved as she spoke.
Sequoia: Oh my god! Somebody help this boy.
Kim: Yikes!
Sequoia: Someone help this boyyy!
Kim: And then another long moment as what she'd actually said sunk in. “What?" "I asked if you would be willing to kiss me, Harry.”
Sequoia: Oh, what?
Kim: Two weeks is a long time, right?
Sequoia: Yeah, it is a really long time.
Kim: She's sick of waiting.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: She said calmly, as if she…
Sequoia: If he would be willing to.
Kim: If he would be willing. Yeah, it's a weird way to phrase it. She said calmly, as if she hadn't just applied a match to his entire nervous system. “I liked kissing you before, but Agony Aunt Edna said that girls weren't supposed to ask boys for kisses.”
Sequoia: You know what, Luna? You break out of that mold.
Kim: Yeah, Luna, fuck that…
Sequoia: Fuck that.
Kim: …Auntie Edna person. [Sequoia laughs] What do they know? They don’t know shit.
Sequoia: Yeah, fuck this random made up character. You can do it, Luna. She… she… she did wait.
Kim: She waited.
Sequoia: Quite a long time.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: I mean, in the whole grand scheme of things, seemingly like six months.
Kim: Six months, yes.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: And then two weeks of snorlak hunting.
Kim: Yes. Where she just spent the whole time looking at him.
Sequoia: Getting really close.
Kim: Getting really close.
Sequoia: Breathing on his neck. [both laugh]
Kim: Harry, our lovably oblivious Harry [Sequoia laughs] was like, I don't know that she likes me like that. I'm Harry Potter. [both laugh] Classic.
Sequoia: Amazing.
Kim: “They're not?” Harry asked dazedly.
Sequoia: Harry!
Kim: Harry does not know. Why would Harry know?
Sequoia: Why would Harry know what?
Kim: Anything about girls.
Sequoia: Anything about girls? Yeah. Yeah, that's… yeah, that’s true.
Kim: Anything about how dating's supposed to go. Harry doesn't know. Why would he?
Sequoia: He's like, girls are what? Boys are what? Huh. I can't see…
Kim: Uhhh. Kiss.
Sequoia: This forest is… what?
Kim: Harry asked dazedly, still trying to fully understand what was going on. It's not that much to process, buddy. It's okay, though. [Sequoia laughs] Luna nodded solemnly, “I kept trying to follow her advice, but you didn't seem to want to kiss me if I just spent time with you.”
Sequoia: Aww! [laughing] Awww!
Kim: Tragic.
Sequoia: This is very tragic.
Kim: The tragedy that could have been avoided by talking [Sequoia laughs] at any point.
Sequoia: Yep.
Kim: “And then Ginny said that I shouldn't take her seriously because she works for several papers, not just the Quibbler, and so I couldn't be sure she was completely trustworthy, you see?”
Sequoia: Journalists, man. [laughs]
Kim: Yeah. Whatever happened to journalistic integrity of romance advice columnists, is what I assume this person is.
Sequoia: I would only assume so.
Kim: Right. [laughs] Oh, man.
Sequoia: At the two wizarding papers.
Kim: I want… I want… [laughs]
Sequoia: I…
Kim: …the Quibbler’s romance advice column! [Sequoia laughing] That's going to be a fucking disaster. Right?
Sequoia: Is it an advice column where people write in with questions that are responded to?
Kim: Maybe.
Sequoia: Or just a general advice column?
Kim: Oh.
Sequoia: Because I feel like the best question is who is writing in to the romance advice column for the Quibbler?
Kim: Yes. Excellent question. [both laugh] Want to know everything about this column. [both laugh] “Oh.”
Sequoia: [laughs] Harry! Oh my god. [both laugh]
Kim: Harry stared for a moment, considering whether there was something else he felt needed to be said.
Sequoia: YES!
Kim: Oh.
Sequoia: Ohhh.
Kim: Apparently not.
Sequoia: Oh, Harry, come on, man.
Kim: Luna just like word vomits a whole bunch of stuff about journalism. Huh!
Sequoia: [in a wobbly voice] Huh, that's very interesting.
Kim: She frowned. “Of course, if you don't want to kiss me, you can just say no.” True.
Sequoia: Nice. Yeah.
Kim: That's true.
Sequoia: That's true.
Kim: “No. I mean yes. I mean…”
Sequoia: Ah! Argh! Ah. Harry, you are causing me stress! [both laugh]
Kim: Harry's brain gave up entirely on the concept of coherent speech, and decided to put his lips to much better use.
Sequoia: Of course. Of course.
Kim: Grasping Luna’s shoulders, he brought her close and started to kiss her. Hesitantly at first, then with growing confidence as she responded with enthusiasm.
Sequoia: Naturally. [laughs] As kissing scenes do in the…
Kim: I'm very glad there's no description of what their tongues are doing. Luckily for us today.
Sequoia: Their tongues do not appear to be battling for dominance today.
Kim: Luckily for us today, no description of the knocking on the lips with the tongue.
Sequoia: No.
Kim: Although I did bring it up now.
Sequoia: [laughs] Yeah.
Kim: So. My bad.
Sequoia: You can't really say no discussion of.
Kim: No mention in the text, at least. Always proud of them when they can avoid that, because it is gross.
Sequoia: Yep.
Kim: After a few breathless minutes, they broke apart and Harry breathed out. "Luna!" His brain…
Sequoia: Harry!
Kim: …is not working so spectacularly, so proud of him.
Sequoia: [laughs] Oh yes.
Kim: What are you doing, my dude?
Sequoia: That is her name. Good job, buddy.
Kim: Oh, wait, never mind. I'm dunking on Harry and it's not fair to him. Here we go.
Sequoia: Oh, okay.
Kim: She looked at him in confusion, then followed his gaze to where there sat a small creature…
Sequoia: It’s here!
Kim: …with pearly gray fur, a turned up snout, and a single crumpled looking horn.
Sequoia: [gasps] It's heeere!
Kim: They definitely misspelled snorkack.
Sequoia: They did that, absolutely.
Kim: It's a crumpled horned snorcack, yeah.
Sequoia: A hundred and twelve percent. You know. It happens.
Kim: It does, especially when spelling made up words.
Sequoia: Yeah. I guarantee you I spelled spells and all sorts of shit wrong.
Kim: Look, neither of us can spell today!
Sequoia: Yeah. I can't. [laughs] Does anybody follow us on Twitter? [both laugh] If so, you'll understand that I can't construct a sentence. So, like, I get it.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: But also…
Kim: Very funny.
Sequoia: But also, of course it did! Here's the thing about story structure, everybody.
Kim: Yes. Oh! [laughs]
Sequoia: You cannot…
Kim: It's an English class?
Sequoia: …have the important thing happen until the kiss happens. [both laugh]
Kim: It's true. Very, very true.
Sequoia: Oh, man. It's real.
Kim: Yeah, it is!
Sequoia: Go capture it and show it to Hermione. Tell her to fuck off. [laughs]
Kim: Ehhhh got ‘em, Hermione! [Sequoia laughs] “I don’t believe it,” Luna said. Grinning, Harry put an arm around her shoulder and continued to look at the Snorlak. “You did say tonight's the tonight, didn't you?”
Sequoia: Hey.
Kim: “But…” She frowned at the beast, then at Harry. “Snorlaks aren't supposed to be this far south. Certainly not at this time of year.”
Sequoia: [laughing] Oh, she’d made that fucking shit up! [both laugh] That's good! Luna was doing a much better job at this whole scenario.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: She made up an excuse for them to…
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: …hang out alone in the woods together…
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: …at night. And Harry was just like…
Kim: I'm going to sit here without moving for two weeks. [laughs]
Sequoia: Two weeks!
Kim: Without talking to Luna. Because he was supporting her!
Sequoia: He was.
Kim: He wanted her to find the thing, so he was being supportive and a good friend.
Sequoia: Uh huh. [both laugh] He's just too precious of a bean.
Kim: I love them both so much. I like Harry/Luna. It's so cute.
Sequoia: I think it's good. Yeah.
Kim: So cute, so funny.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Harry arched an eyebrow before saying, in what he thought was a reasonable tone of voice given the circumstances, “Then what the flaming hell have we been doing out in the woods for the past two weeks?”
Sequoia: [laughs] Harry, obviously.
Kim: The snorlak scampered off at Harry's raised voice, but Luna just giggled and leaned in to drop a kiss on Harry's nose. “Waiting for you to kiss me.”
Sequoia: Duh!
Kim: Duh.
Sequoia: Duh! [both laugh]
Kim: The end.
Sequoia: Awwwww! That was so cute!
Kim: I found you some fluff.
Sequoia: Nice.
Kim: Some straight up fluff. Enchanted mistletoe, Christmassy vibes, but not too Christmassy because it's not Christmas any more.
Sequoia: Right. That's a flashback to Christmas. It's fine. [both laugh] Ohhh! I love a good… I love background Drinny,
Kim: Yeah!
Sequoia: That's good.
Kim: Dunking on Ron for his obvious crush on Viktor Krum.
Sequoia: Viktor Krum! Very good. [both laugh]
Kim: You got one point.
Sequoia: I did. I did.
Kim: It was a Luna story.
Sequoia: It was a Luna story.
Kim: Luna was there. It was Luna focused. Luna story.
Sequoia: Luna story. It was very good.
Kim: I love a mistletoe story.
Sequoia: Oh, I love a mistletoe story.
Kim: Very funny.
Sequoia: Love it. I liked this enchanted mistletoe.
Kim: Yeah, this one was not as bad as they are sometimes.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Kim: This one was fine. [both laugh]
Sequoia: All right. Do you… you want to do a segment, you ready?
Kim: Let’s do a segment.
Both: Let's do a quick ficssss!
Kim: Quick fics is a segment where we have one of us quickly summarize a story that was beautiful and perfect and shiny in some certain way, but maybe isn't right for the main pod for whatever reason. What do you have for us today, Sequoia?
Sequoia: I have today a listener submission.
Kim: Great.
Sequoia: From Sam. Thank you, Sam, for this experience. It's called Lucius's New House Elf.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: And this is a story… [exhales]
Kim: Yes?
Sequoia: This is a story where Lucius Malfoy orders a new house elf from a catalog, a Middle Earth catalog.
Kim: A WHAT?
Sequoia: And he receives a package from Mordor containing Gollum.
Kim: What?
Sequoia: [laughs] This is a parody crossover [both laugh] between The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. He tries to get a new house elf, but he gets Gollum instead. [Kim gulping with laughter] Gollum will only eat nice little fishies, he's mad about it.
Kim: [still gulping] Who's mad? Lucius?
Sequoia: Lucius is mad.
Kim: Okay. [chuckles]
Sequoia: He's like, this is not what I ordered. It's like when you go to wish.com. [both laugh]
Kim: Mail order Middle Earth?
Sequoia: Mail order Middle Earth. He gets mad. He sends the owner of the catalog an angry letter about… about how he has received this product that is subpar, honestly. The owner of the catalog is Saruman. [both laugh]
Kim: Stupid, what?
Sequoia: But then he decides to get more products from this catalog, this Middle Earth catalog.
Kim: Oh, because it went so well.
Sequoia: Yeah, and then he decides that maybe he likes this whole Middle Earth experience.
Kim: [laughing] Oh, okay.
Sequoia: So he takes his family on vacation to Middle Earth where he actually befriends Saruman. [both laugh]
Kim: And that's it, there you go. [both laugh hysterically]
Sequoia: Thank you, Sam, for sending that story. And there'll be a link to that story in the description. I think that’s…
Kim: Oh, it's powerful. It's powerfully silly.
Sequoia: Yeah. [both laugh]
Kim: I love a crossover fic that isn't just here's me sorting all the characters from this other…
Sequoia: Right. Right.
Kim: …fandom.
Sequoia: Nope.
Kim: That's something. [Sequoia laughing] Lucius and Saruman! Thank you.
Sequoia: They’ve got that long sort of like white…
Kim: Yeah. Sure.
Sequoia: White hair and blonde hair, and you know, they got the long straight hair. They're both wizards.
Kim: Flair for the dramatic.
Sequoia: Flair for the dramatic. You know.
Kim: Evil.
Sequoia: Evil, yeah. They would be friends.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: I think that they would be friends.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: They would be like, I understand you…
Kim: Check out this orb.
Sequoia: …and your quest for power. Check out this orb. Exactly. [laughs] Saruman would be like, look, I have this pit where I make… [both laugh] where I make these creatures, isn't that fun? Lucius will be like, wow, that's really cool.
Kim: That is really cool.
Sequoia: That is really cool. I'm really mad that you sent me, like, Gollum. That was uncool. But like other than that…
Kim: Did he travel to Middle Earth to return Gollum? [Sequoia laughs] That was the only way to do the return? Have to do it in person?
Sequoia: [laughs] No, they went on vacation.
Kim: Uh huh. A likely story.
Sequoia: To see… I mean… I mean, it's beautiful.
Kim: Parts of it. Parts of it.
Sequoia: Yeah, there's some beautiful bits.
Kim: Saruman’s pit is not so nice.
Sequoia: Is not great. Yeah, I feel in order to… in order to hang out with Saruman, maybe they're not going to…
Kim: It looks like it just fucking smells god awful. [both laugh] Anyway, that's… this is… that’s enough of our Lord of the Rings podcast, What Smells Bad in Middle Earth. [both laugh hysterically]
Sequoia: [still laughing] Oh no! Oh no! [keeps laughing] Oh no.
Kim: Let’s move on to the next segment.
Sequoia: [weakly] Okay. It's time for…
Both: …the rec zone! Pew pew pew pew pewww!
Kim: For my recommendation today, I have more Harry/Luna for you.
Sequoia: Nice!
Kim: And also more Lord of the Rings for you?! [both laugh]
Sequoia: Wait, what? [laughs] Wait. WHAT?
Kim: For Luna’s birthday, Harry takes her on a date to watch Lord of the Rings.
Sequoia: Oh my god, you are joking.
Kim: Fuck, that's funny.
Sequoia: Holy shit, that’s so good.
Kim: That’s fucking funny. Let’s tie it all together.
Sequoia: Oh, damn. I love it when we accidentally do that! [laughs]
Kim: It's really cute. It's sweet. [laughs] I think it's mostly pre-romance if I remember, but anyway… crying just a little bit. [Sequoia laughs] The link to that will be in the episode description and also on our website.
Sequoia: Fanaticalfics.com.
Kim: Also on our website, you can find our story submission form. Sequoia got sent…
Sequoia: The… the…
Kim: The Lord of the Rings crossover
Sequoia: The beautiful Lord of the Rings crossover.
Kim: Send us more crossover stuff. Find me some real Pokémon crossover so I can confuse Sequoia some more!
Sequoia: [laughs] Yes, tell me all the Pokémon references I don't understand!
Kim: Let me list every Pokémon for you. [both laugh]
Sequoia: You can also find merch on our website. We've got some really awesome bookmarks. We've got Rose Willow Black as well as hold for the text please bookmarks. But there's also a link to our TeePublic where you can get Blaise and Zach taking their final bow after the untitled musical [both laugh] that they both worked on. As well as a lot of other designs, some squid biologist stuff on a variety of things.
Kim: Uh huh. If you want to shout out to us about what stupid stuff we've done that we are inextricably tied to [Sequoia laughs] you can find us on social media. Find us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @FanaticalFics.
Sequoia: If you have any longer thoughts, you want to email us your hold for the end pleases, your OCs, or anything else that you might want to chat with us about, you can reach us at fanaticalfics@gmail.com.
Kim: If you like this podcast and you want to help us out, there are a few ways you can do that. Way number one… oh fuck, it's 2022. [Sequoia gasps] Shit. Fuck. Why am I doing this?
Sequoia: What was that thing? What was that thing?
Kim: It’s time for…
Sequoia: Trick the world?
Kim: Trick the planet!
Sequoia: Trick the Planet!
Both: Trick the planet 2022.
Kim: It's 2022. The campaign continues. Trick…
Both: …the planet…
Kim: …into listening to this nonsense. Let us know how it's going on our soc meds. Good luck, everyone.
Sequoia: Thanks so much to Isabel for suggesting that we switch it up in 2022, switch up the campaign. Make the campaign more powerful, stronger than everrrr! [both laugh]
Kim: You can also support this podcast by supporting us on Patreon.
Sequoia: We've got bonus livestreams.
Kim: Yes we do.
Sequoia: Bonus episodes.
Kim: Yes, we do.
Sequoia: We've got a Discord where lots of things are happening at any given point in time.
Kim: [laughs] Thanks, as always, to The Whomping Willows for letting us use their amazing song Wolfstar as our theme song. You can find The Whomping Willows' whole catalogue of excellent music at thewhompingwillows.bandcamp.com.
Both: Byeeee!