Episode 22: Dead
When all is said and done, we’re still not entirely sure what “the chase” is, but we’re pretty sure it never happened.
Recommendation: Finding the Right Words
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3353535/1/Finding-the-Right-Words
This transcript was provided by our excellent volunteer transcription team! Thanks to:
Transcriber: Lottie
Checker: Jeanne
If you’re interested in joining the team, send us an email!
If you’d like to read the original work contained in this transcript, you can find it here!
Sequoia: [very quietly] There… there's so much content.
Kim: Welcome to the ASMR podcast hour. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Oh God. Pod…
Kim: Yeah, that’s not what that sounds like.
Sequoia: That’s… no, we don’t know. We just discussed that we have no idea what that really is.
[pause]
Kim: [does gun noise] Pew!
Sequoia: Stop doing that! [both laugh]
Kim: Pew! Pewn! Bwah! Is that…? Is ASMR where you just like to listen to, like, foley noises but… I’m making them? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: It’s like listening to a comic book. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Sha-Pwang! Shnicked!
Sequoia: How about… shing shing! [both laugh]
Kim: Oh my gosh, yes!
Sequoia: Yes!
Kim: Or whatever.
[Theme music (Wolfstar by The Whomping Willows: You know we really love you/ It ain’t our place to judge you/ You’re feeling scared about it/ Naturally/ There’s no point in hiding/ So feel free to start confiding/ If you need a good friend/ You can count on me/ You can count on me/ You can count on me)]
Sequoia: Hello. I’m Sequoia Simone.
Kim: I didn’t like that.
Sequoia. Oh. Fine.
Kim: Who is…? Who is that?
Sequoia: [strange, high pitched voice] Hello! [both laugh] Is that better? Was that what you…?
Kim: Yeah. That was… that was good.
Sequoia: Great.
Kim: That was great.
Sequoia: Hello. I’m Sequoia Simone.
Kim: And this is Kim.
Sequoia: And this is Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them.
Kim: It’s our podcast about Harry Potter…
Both: Fanfiction.
Sequoia: Boys and girls. Welcome to the pod.
Kim: Y’know… ‘cause… we thought that was something that needed to happen.
Sequoia: And it did and it does.
Kim: Continue to.
Sequoia: Continue to happen
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: So, we have a couple things to get through today and one of them is to shout out to...
Kim: Shout out!
Sequoia: Shout out!
Both: [sing-song voice] Shout out! Shout out! Shout out! Shout out!
Sequoia: To [laughs] one of our lovely listeners. We just want to say hii, Sampson! Because we...
Kim: Thanks for your support!
Sequoia: We really appreciate your tweeting and also leaving us a Facebook review and also supporting us on Patreon. So, thank you. We appreciate you. Thanks for listening.
Kim: [quietly] To the podcast.
Sequoia: And re-listening!
Kim: I don’t know why anyone would do that.
Sequoia: I don’t either! [Kim laughs] Is what I said in the tweet back. I was like what?
Kim: I mean I’ve listened to…
Sequoia: We don’t deserve that.
Kim: Yeah, I mean you, especially, have listened to episodes of this… so many times. But…
Sequoia: Over and over and over, but I edit them.
Kim: I usually listen to them… once! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Yep. I know them backwards and forwards, which is why I’m so good at call backs.
Kim: Why I… I always miss the call backs.
Sequoia: Yeah. It’s...
Kim: Every single one of them. You’d think I would be better at that, but nope.
Sequoia: Nope. Here we are.
Kim: My head is already stuffed full of Harry Potter and 30 Rock.
Sequoia: And X-Men.
Kim: Oh yeah.
Sequoia: But... from the 80s.
Kim: But only from… the 90s, yeah. [Sequoia laughs] Early to mid 80s. ‘S good stuff. I’m working my way towards the now. I’ve made it…
Sequoia: Towards the now.
Kim: I’ve made it up to 1990.
[pause]
Sequoia: You’re getting there. That’s closer to the now.
Kim: Is it?
Sequoia: It’s… you’re getting closer. [Kim laughs] You’re… you’ve got a long way to go, kid. [Kim sighs]
Kim: It’s so something.
Sequoia: So something. Folks. Last time I said hey, tweet at us if you’re from Texas or New Zealand. And you did. [Kim snorts and laughs] Both of those places. So, thanks for indulging my random shit like... [laughs]
Kim: I… I… I feel like people should not be encouraging this. You’re just gonna keep…
Sequoia: Nope! I’m gonna keep doing it!
Kim: You’re gonna keep requesting, like, a new location every time. Today. Where are you requesting today?
Sequoia: Okay so…
Kim: Everybody listening to us from The Void, [Sequoia laughs] spinning above the city currently.
Sequoia: Yeah. That. Or… [laughs] No, I actually don’t have one today because I… I’m warning you right now.
Kim: Is this a segue?
Sequoia: This is a segue. [Kim laughs] I need you to be cool about it.
Kim: You don’t have any today because....
Sequoia: Because I’m still tryna figure out how the stats work in Libsyn so…
Kim: Libsyn.
Sequoia: We have transferred all of our… all of our trash over to Libsyn. It’s… we’re still like… You’ll still get it on all the apps, hopefully.
Kim: Yeah, we’re… we’re switching podcast hosting software. Kinda like some background stuff, I guess?
Sequoia: Mhm.
Kim: We’re shifting things around in the background. Hopefully you won’t notice any differences unless you’re listening on SoundCloud.
Sequoia: If you do notice a difference, please email us or tweet at us or do something to let us know.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: ‘Cause we would like to fix that problem.
Kim: For sure.
Sequoia: We don’t want this to cause you any inconvenience, we just want to be on Spotify. [Kim laughs] I mean… What?
Kim: Just wanna get off SoundCloud, let’s be real.
Sequoia: I had no problem with SoundCloud, I just wanted to be on Spotify.
Kim: Fine. Fine.
Sequoia: Anyway… that’s the biz.
Kim: Yeah, so our stuff is gonna be disappearing from SoundCloud. Do you know when?
Sequoia: In roughly a month and a half.
Kim: ‘Kay. So, if you are listening to us on SoundCloud, look us… look for us on iTunes, or any of the various like podcast aggregator apps.
Sequoia: Mhm. We’re in many, many places.
Kim: Yeah anything that uses the iTunes... store?
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Will have us on there. We’re also on Google Play.
Sequoia: Yes. Okay. So now onto the part where we read fanfiction.
Kim: We do what?
Sequoia: Oh! Oh! What? Didn’t know what the...
Kim: Classic bit! Pew, pew pew, pew!
Sequoia: ...podcast is! Woo! Great. [both laugh] Really good. Really great stuff.
Kim: Classic bit. Gotta… gotta… gotta soundboard noise now.
Sequoia: Yeah. [laughs] That was like a more of, like, a… cacophony. There was this big… Not… not really. [Kim laughs] Look at me pulling out my SAT words. I didn’t take the SAT. [both laugh]
Kim: Story. That was a great story.
Sequoia: Great. Just like, personal life anecdotes. Okay. [Kim laughs] Our prediction score board got updated.
Kim: Yeah. It did, ‘cause…
Sequoia: You’re at…
Kim: ‘Cause we had to update it.
Sequoia: We did, ‘cause the last two episodes we’ve each gained a point, and it hadn’t happened in months.
Kim: Months and months.
Sequoia: So…
Kim: We’re bad at this game.
Sequoia: I mean, yeah.
Kim: But we continue to do it anyway.
Sequoia: So our guests are at three.
Kim: Yes they are.
Sequoia: I am at three point five. [laughs]
Kim: Sure. If you say so.
Sequoia: Listen, we’ve been doing it and that’s how it’s staying. [Kim laughs] And you are at five.
Kim: Yeah, I am.
Sequoia: So let’s see how you do today. [Kim sighs] Don’t look so disheartened.
Kim: I just… I’m just gonna be really sad when I don’t get any points because I was... I… I… I got one after like… it had been, like, three months.
Sequoia: Yeah. But, like, you got one and then I got one.
Kim: Think we’re gonna… we’re gonna…
Sequoia: So we must be on some sort of an upward trajectory.
Kim: Yea,h because two points make a line… that goes… straight to the moon.
Sequoia: Oh my God, what? [laughs]
Kim: The points moon, Sequoia! [laughs]
Sequoia: Oh no! Okay. Okay. Okay. Well…
Kim: It’s where we’re going. [Sequoia sighs].
Sequoia: Oh God. Let’s see… let’s see if that’s where we’re going, shall we?
Kim: Yep.
Sequoia: Would you like to try and get one step closer to the points moon… and let me know… what is it that happens in Dead? Spiritual/horror. [both laugh] The face is so disheartened. Just like… upset. Sad. Sad.
Kim: Oh… this is gonna be some weird shit.
Sequoia: Um… yeah, it is. I will… I will let you know that this does feature a prominent fanfiction trope. Not that all of our episodes don’t.
Kim: Yeah, I was gonna… yeah.
Sequoia: Like, every story is that way. But you gave me that as a hint once.
Kim: Did I?
Sequoia: You did.
Kim: Good.
Sequoia: I’ve listened to the episodes multiple times. [Kim laughs] I would know.
Kim: I mean… some of them are more common than others.
Sequoia: Yeah, that’s true.
Kim: Okay, so this one is going to be… so, let’s see. The kind of spiritual, ghosty stories that I’ve read have often been about Lily and James. A lot of them... take place... kind of in the crossing over zone. I’ve seen some, actually, where they set it in Platform 9 ¾ as a crossing over zone, which is fascinating.
Sequoia: That’s cool.
Kim: Like old, old stuff.
Sequoia: What?
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Like pre book seven stuff?
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: Nice!
Kim: It’s interesting stuff. I’m guessing this isn’t that, though. Okay. James and Lily are… contacting Harry.
Sequoia: Okay. So you’re guessing James and Lily are in it.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: In it…
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: ...they contact Harry.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: And you should make your third one…
Kim: Something else.
Sequoia: Something else.
Kim: Yep. It…
Sequoia: Because we are getting better at this.
Kim: ...takes place on the grounds of Hogwarts? Is that good enough? The gr... out… outside of the building.
Sequoia: Outside of the Hogwarts building?
Kim: Most of it takes place, like, on…
Sequoia: In...
Both: The grounds.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Yeah?
Sequoia: All right.
Kim: Okay. [laughs]
Sequoia: I’ll… I’ll take that as…
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: I’ll take that.
Kim: Yeah! It’s fine.
Sequoia: I’ve… I’ve made some very general predictions before and I…
Kim: I feel like that’s… not that general?
Sequoia: It’s pretty general. Oh well I g...
Kim: Like, a location.
Sequoia: Yeah, okay.
Kim: C’mon.
Sequoia: All right. [yells] Fine! [Kim laughs]
Kim: It’s not gonna work, so I dunno why you’re arguing about it. [Sequoia sighs]
Sequoia: Who said it wasn’t gonna work?
Kim: I say it’s not gonna have worked.
Sequoia: All right, you wanna hear the first sentence?
Kim: Sure. [Sequoia clears her throat] Draco Malfoy… [laughs]
Sequoia: Ginny Weasley…
Kim: Okay. Mhm. ‘Kay. Good start for me.
Sequoia: There you go.
Kim: Good start for me.
Sequoia: Ginny Weasley was waiting in the still shadows of the Forbidden Forest.
Kim: Does that…? Does that count as the Hogwarts grounds?
Sequoia: Yeah!
Kim: [quietly] Oh, shit.
Sequoia: I say it counts.
Kim: Oh shit.
Sequoia: I say it counts.
Kim: Oh shit!
Sequoia: Oh. Shit!
Kim: We’re on the train...
Sequoia: We’re on…
Kim: ...to the moon!
Sequoia: [both laugh] To the moon!
Kim: The Points Moon!
Sequoia: The train to the Points Moon...
Kim: Okay, so Ginny Weasley…
Sequoia: ...has left the station. ‘Kay.
Kim: What’s Ginny Weasley doing? Sneaking around in the middle of the night…
Sequoia: I’m ‘onna read that sentence again because I like it.
Kim: ...being dead?
Sequoia: Ginny Weasley was waiting in the still shadows of the Forbidden Forest. She was motionless. She wasn’t even breathing.
Kim: Because she was dead?
Sequoia: Of course, she didn’t need to.
Kim: Yep, ‘kay. Weird.
Sequoia: She hadn’t had the mortal necessity of breath for over a week.
Kim: [whispering] Okay, this is fucking weird. I’ve never read a story like this. [Sequoia laughs] I’m so excited.
Sequoia: What doesn’t breathe?
Kim: Uh… Dead people?
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Ghosts?
Sequoia: All right. Okay. Here we go. I’m just gonna...
Kim: Vampires! [pause] [both squeal at the same time, then laugh] Awesome!
Sequoia: Awesome! Awesome.
Kim: Zombies. [both laugh]
Sequoia: Oh my God. We already…
Kim: [quietly] Would have to… stop them.
Sequoia: Stop listing random stuff!
Kim: Rocks!
Sequoia: Oh my God. What have I gotten myself into?
Kim: A... an animated pile of rocks. [both laugh]
Sequoia: There’s some… there’s those in some things. She hadn’t had the mortal necessity of breath for over a week. She was still getting used to it. It was rather exhilarating feeling, standing still. [both laugh]
Kim: Oh Ginny… Ginny appreciates the simple things in life.
Sequoia: Like...
Both: ...standing…
Sequoia: ...there. Hanging out.
Kim: You think she would… she would know all about standing around not being noticed? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Zing!
Kim: Ah, fucking Ginny! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Get back in your box! [Kim laughs]. It was rather exhilarating feeling, standing still, unmoving. No pulse. No breath. Unblinkingly standing in the still shadows of a forest that was more alive than she herself.
Kim: That’s awesome.
Sequoia: I really like that sentence.
Kim: That’s cool.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Is she stalking someone? Does she have some prey that she’s going to eat? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: I want to suck your blood! [both laugh]
Kim: A plus.
Sequoia: Remember folks, this podcast has no accents. [both laugh]
Kim: Except for bad ones.
Sequoia: Except for many bad ones.
Kim: Thank you for noticing.
Sequoia: [weird voice] Thank you. She took a breath. Just for the fun of it. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Bet that she was tryna be really quiet. I bet she was like...
Sequoia: She was… she was EXHILARATED by the feeling of standing still.
Kim: Do you think… do you think she was like [exaggerates taking in a breath loudly and both laugh]
Sequoia: Breathe in and go [breathes in exaggeratedly loudly as well] [breathlessly] How fun. [Kim laughs] So fun, I like breathing too. So fun.
Kim: ‘Kay.
Sequoia: She slowly let it go and fluttered her eyelashes. Every movement seemed a wonder to her. A wonder that she had ever taken such things for granted, even one week before. What is that face that you’re making? [laughs] I dunno.
Kim: I dunno, she’s… she’s seeming less like a vampire and more like… an animated pile of stones.
Sequoia: Oh my God. [laughs]
Kim: Barely animated.
Sequoia: She’s just trying not to be seen.
Kim: She like… it seems like… she’s like… it’s, like, really hard for her to do these things. She’s, like, really having to strain herself.
Sequoia: Flutter her eyelashes? Yeah.
Kim: Like, ah this was so easy for me when I was alive.
Sequoia: I took the flutter of the eyelashes for granted, just a week ago. [pause] Especially one week before, when she had been running through the Forbidden Forest, trying to find her brother, who had died in all the seven months fighting in the wizard war.
Kim: Aw.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Which brother? Hope it’s Percy. Fuck him.
Sequoia: Oh my God! [both laugh] Oh my God! Ron had been a brave boy.
Kim: Naw, fuck.
Sequoia: Right? He had been…
Kim: Why ya gotta kill Ron?
Sequoia: I know.
Kim: What did he ever do to you?
Sequoia: I know. I was always convinced that one of the trio was gonna die and it was gonna have to be Ron. [Kim sighs] Because without Hermione, Harry couldn’t accomplish anything more.
Kim: Right.
Sequoia: Like, past that point.
Kim: Yeah. I always thought that Harry was gonna die.
Sequoia: Well…
Kim: That’s what I wanted.
Sequoia: He did for a second.
Kim: But, for real!
Sequoia: Yeah, I know. That’s what you wanted?!
Kim: Yup. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Wait, I missed that part!
Kim: What? Who said what?
Sequoia: I thought Ginny was gonna die, so this story… [Kim laughs]
Kim: Really speaks…
Sequoia: ...really, really speaks to me.
Kim: ...to you.
Sequoia: Ginny had had a great thing for Harry in her earlier years of schooling.
Kim: What a foolish child she was then! [Sequoia laughs] That dude sucks!
Sequoia: He had the green…
Kim: Is this… is this Drinny?
Sequoia: Is it Drinny?
Kim: I really hope it is. It’s such a terrible ship.
Sequoia: I dunno why you would assume that. [Kim laughs] He had the green eyes that haunted her dreams since her birth.
Kim: What?
Sequoia: Yeah. She popped out the womb, being, like…
Kim: Thinking about… green eye?
Sequoia: Those green eyes.
Kim: That’s weird.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: That’s really weird, Ginny. Ginny, what?
Sequoia: She had always known, even when she had played house as a child, that her husband would have green eyes.
Kim: That’s fucking weird.
Sequoia: Yeah, it is weird.
Kim: Do you think she had like… some kinda, like, pillow with green circles drawn on it? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: She had like a… like, a Ken doll, except that she had just like taken some green sharpie and went over the…
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: His eyes with it.
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: Just like, none of this brown eyed bullshit. [Kim laughs]
Kim: I’ve known since birth…
Sequoia: I’ve known… since birth! [both laugh]
Kim: Weird. That’s weird.
Sequoia: She, herself, had always wished that she had green eyes.
Kim: ‘Kay.
Sequoia: But no matter how hard she tried to jinx, charm and just plain old beg her eyes to change color, they never did.
Kim: ‘Kay.
Sequoia: Except a week ago…
Kim: Great.
Sequoia: ...they did.
Kim: [whispering] What color are they now?
Sequoia: A week ago…
Kim: [still whispering] What color are they now?
Sequoia: They’re green now! They did… they did the thing.
Kim: Why would they… why would they be green?
Sequoia: Because she…
Kim: Why aren’t they…?
Sequoia: ...wanted them to be.
Kim: Why aren’t they…? What color?
Sequoia: Color…
Kim: What color are the eyes in… any other vampire stuff? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Whatever... like, pure black?
Kim: Red?
Sequoia: Red? Other things? Not green? I don’t… I… I don’t think green was a…
Kim: No.
Sequoia: Like, a staple of...
Kim: No.
Sequoia: I just think it’s cause she really wanted it. And vampires have a…
Kim: Different… magic… thing? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: [high pitched] Can change…
Kim: Oh buddy. Oh buddy.
Sequoia: ...their eye color?
Kim: Oh buddy. Just stop!
Sequoia: Oh no!
Kim: Just stop! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: No?
Kim: Just. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Sequoia: Oh, okay… yeah.
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: It’s cool.
Kim: Ginny’s eyes are green now. Great. Continue.
Sequoia: They’re… they’re green now. She used to love Harry, she doesn’t love him any more…
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: But she always dreamt of green eyes.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: And Ron died.
Kim: Great.
Sequoia: For, when she had been running in the Forbidden Forest, she had come across something rather solid. In fact, she had bodily run into something solid.
Kim: A tree.
Sequoia: Ah, you would think so ‘cause she is in the Forbidden Forest.
Kim: A spider.
Sequoia: What?
Kim: I’m guessing again.
Sequoia: Okay, I knew it would… Okay, yeah we’re not… this is not… this is not the guessing podcast.
Kim: What?
Sequoia: This is the spare rooms podcast.
Kim: Oh, right. Here we are.
Sequoia: Here we are, in the spare room. She opened her eyes as she heard a rustling noise in the bush. She didn’t move.
Kim: Is this a… is this a flashback? I’ve lost the thread.
Sequoia: So… yeah. So we’re going very quickly back and forth.
Kim: Oh, okay.
Sequoia: She’s like oh, I was thinking about Harry… Ron and then Harry, and then I was running through the forest and I ran into a thing but in current now I have heard a rustling.
Kim: Oh okay.
Sequoia: In the bush.
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: She didn’t move. She really likes standing still. [Kim laughs]
Kim: She’s really good at it.
Sequoia: She’s really good at it. She really likes it.
Kim: She’s excited that she’s good at something.
Sequoia: Exactly. She could smell it. A small rabbit. Nothing more. Even though she had been reborn a mere seven days previous, she had gotten over the tiny, easy to catch prey phase. [Kim laughs] She wanted more.
Kim: ‘Kay.
Sequoia: She wanted a chase.
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: She wanted excitement.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: She wanted… a human.
Kim: Great. [both laugh and Kim sighs] Oh man. What year did Twilight come out? [Sequoia laughs] I need to know.
Sequoia: Mm, okay, yeah. We gotta… we gotta do it. We gotta…
Kim: I gotta know.
Sequoia: This was written in 2003.
Kim: ‘Kay.
Sequoia: Published 2005. Twilight was published in 2005. So this is pre Twilight.
Kim: So this is more… this is probably more… what do you think? Do... What do you think is informing this take on vampires? Is it Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
[pause]
Sequoia: No. Because her vampires are more, like, snarky and fun.
Kim: That’s true, they are fun.
Sequoia: I love Buffy. [Kim laughs] And…
Kim: This is just…
Sequoia: We’ll… we’ll get…
Kim: I guess.
Sequoia: We’ll get…
Both: We’ll get there.
Kim: But this is pre Twilight. Okay.
Sequoia: Yeah, pre Twilight.
Kim: So she’s not sparkly?
Sequoia: No. Well, she’s in the dark, so…
Kim: It would be hard to tell.
Sequoia: Don’t really know. [both laugh] Stupid. She wanted… A human.
Kim: Who doesn’t? [both laugh]
Sequoia: That’s just like… eight thousand things popped into my head to say and I decided to say none of them. Okay. [Kim laughs] All right.
Kim: That’s a shame. That’s a shame.
Sequoia: And a human, she would have.
Kim: Feel like… humans are way slower than like a rabbit in the forest.
Sequoia: Right? I feel like, if you really wanna like…
Kim: Chase something…
Sequoia: ...chase something in the Forbidden Forest, like, go for a centaur. [Kim laughs]
Kim: I… If you’ve already crossed over to the vampire evil side.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Fucking just…
Sequoia: Just…
Kim: ...go for a unicorn!
Sequoia: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Kim: Just do it!
Sequoia: You don’t have a soul. Probably.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: You’re… you’re dead. You have no soul.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Unicorn blood.
Kim: Sure.
Sequoia: I’m sure it would be great.
Kim: It would be awesome, I bet.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: Although maybe they’re not that hard to kill considering that Quirrell did it.
Sequoia: That’s true, he was pretty fucking useless. [both laugh] And a human, she would have. In moments. In only a few moments. She could feel his form; the form of the boy she had crushed on for four, maybe five years straight, padding towards her.
Kim: Oh. [quietly] Fucking Harry. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Yes!
Kim: Harry, if you are a useless lump today I’m gonna be so mad at you.
Sequoia: Well, we couldn’t have him powered up back to back! [Kim laughs]
Kim: Harry, transform! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Transform! Panther!
Kim: No! Not the panther, he’s gotta do… Just go for the dragon, Harry!
Sequoia: The phoenix! Fly away!
Kim: Set her on fire! [Sequoia laughs] [quietly] Shing shing!
Sequoia: He was covered in the invisibility cloak, of course. But that didn’t matter. She could feel his presence. Smell him. She could smell him.
Kim: I feel like feeling his presence was… different from smelling.
Sequoia: Yeah.
Kim: What do you think Harry…? Never mind. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Mhm.
Kim: I’ll stop. We don’t need to talk about that today.
Sequoia: She had never before come close enough to smell him. [both laugh] Maybe her… I want her to be like, [creepy voice] I can smell you! [both laugh]
Kim: Just… no, she’s just like, hovering next to him, sniffing real loud. [Sequoia laughs] Just a loud sniffs.
Sequoia: Just a real… She was so... so still and then… [Kim makes sniffing sounds and both laugh] But she could smell him now. A scent that she knew, without even knowing.
Kim: Huh?
Sequoia: It’s fine. [Kim laughs] It’s fine.
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: Cinnamon. And burnt toast.
Kim: Oh wait. Remember when I said… [both laugh] Burnt toast?
Sequoia: Yeah like, who the hell smells like burnt toast? I... that’s not a compliment.
Kim: [laughing] No, it’s not!
Sequoia: Burnt toast is not good.
Kim: [slightly hysterical] Why would a person smell like that?
Sequoia: How would you go about, like…. ah yes, every morning I get up, I burn some toast, I rub it on my face. [Kim laughs]
Kim: It’s cinnamon and burnt toast so he’s rubbing like cinnamon toast.
Sequoia: Some cinnamon toast.
Kim: Some…
Both: ...burnt…
Sequoia: ...cinnamon toast, is his favorite food, so he smells like it all the time.
Kim: No, it’s not!
Sequoia: That’s our canon. That is being added to Fanatical Fics canon. [Kim laughs] Harry Potter’s favorite food… is burnt cinnamon toast.
Kim: Oh no.
Sequoia: He sucks. [laughs]
Kim: [cries] Harry! Okay.
Sequoia: Oh my God.
Kim: Fuckin… Oh my gosh.
Sequoia: Cinnamon. And burnt toast. The Harry Potter original. [Kim laughs] Yeah, because no one else smells like that. Because why would anyone smell like that?
Kim: [softly] No one smells like that. Oh.
Sequoia: No one. Smells like that.
Kim: Ginny…
Sequoia: He could see her, she knew. He could see her, black robes billowing, standing in the darkness, because her eyes were aglow. Green.
Kim: Like a cat?
Sequoia: Yeah! Like a cat! [Kim laughs] Like an evil cat with a billowing cloak.
Kim: Awesome.
Sequoia: Yeah. She sounds pretty fucking baller.
Kim: If it weren’t for the sniffing. [both laugh] And the forceful blinking.
Sequoia: And the sniffing! He would, perhaps, tell himself that it was a trick of the light.
Kim: The… the… the…
Sequoia: The…
Kim: ...billowing cloaked figure?
Sequoia: No. [both laugh] No, the eyes! Her eyes were aglow.
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: The… the billowing cloak, she can’t… there’s no hiding that.
Kim: Yeah, no. it’s…
Sequoia: It’s just happening.
Kim: Yeah. [laughs]
Sequoia: Also, I feel like… if I was like, standing extra still, trying not to be seen or whatever…
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: ...I’d do something about my cloak.
Kim: Yeah, you’d wear like a… ninja outfit.
Sequoia: Yeah. [pause]. Shing shing! [both laugh] That’s never gonna stop. Okay. He would perhaps tell himself that it was a trick of the light. That the moon was shining on her eyes with the green of the shrubbery around her glimmering. But it was not a trick of the light. [Kim laughs] The cinnamon was more potent now. [laughs]
Kim: [very softly] Jesus Christ. What?
Sequoia: There’s like… really cinnamony! Burnt cinnamon toast…
Kim: It means he’s just like…
Sequoia: Just like, can’t stress cinnamon...
Kim: Do you think that’s just, like, what’s in his pocket? [Sequoia laughs] Think he thought maybe he’d get hungry, so he brought a snack?
Sequoia: Oh no.
Kim: Or he stopped by Hagrid’s on the way over and Hagrid gave him some food.
Sequoia: Some food. Some burnt cinnamon toast. I know it’s your favorite, Harry. Ooh.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: She curved her blood red lips into a smile. She waited patiently, until he had taken off his cloak, and then said, [deep voice] “Hello, Harry.” [both laugh]
Kim: That’s a great voice.
Sequoia: Thanks!
Kim: That’s a great voice, thank you. [Sequoia laughs] Thank you for giving me that.
Sequoia: Oh no. I dunno if I can keep that up.
Kim: [softly] Shit.
Sequoia: Ooh… oops. He looked at her, looking a mixture between intrigued and confused.
Kim: That’s… yeah, that sounds like Harry’s face.
Sequoia: Yep, that’s… that’s normal, yep.
Kim: There ya go.
Sequoia: There ya have it.
Kim: Correct. Correct.
Sequoia: “Hello, Ginny.” [Kim laughs] “It’s freezing out here. Why don’t you take my cloak?” She has one!
Kim: Yeah! Yeah.
Sequoia: It’s billowing!
Kim: Dummy! She needs two cloaks.
Sequoia: “I’m always cold, Harry.” [Kim laughs]
Kim: I mean… I… I say that.
Sequoia: [laughing] I know! My God, it’s you!
Kim: Not because I’m literally a dead body.
Sequoia: But because I’m always cold.
Kim: It’s always cold.
Sequoia: It is always cold. I get you, Ginny, I get you. It is always cold.
Kim: Yeah. ‘Cause of your lack of a… heart.
Sequoia: Right. Blood pumping.
Kim: It makes it… makes it hard to be warm when you don’t have a heart.
Sequoia: Right, exactly. “Never does it matter whether I am in summer rain or winter snow, I shall always be cold.” [both laugh]
Kim: Wow! Did she get like a… like, a gothy vampire phrase book when she got turned?
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim: Does it come with a… You get a bite and a gothy vampire phrase book. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: And a billowing…
Kim: And a billowing cloak.
Sequoia: ...cloak.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: And green eyes!
Kim: Sure. These things… This is the standard.
Sequoia: Or whatever… color eyes you always wanted.
Kim: The standard I’ve just turned you into a vampire care pack. [both laugh]
Sequoia: Harry’s eyebrows went up slightly. “Well, I don’t really know what you mean. But… er… why did you ask me to come out here?”
Kim: Good questions.
Sequoia: Good questions.
Kim: Good questions. Harry’s on the ball. [Sequoia laughs] He’s with it.
Sequoia: I dunno what’s going on.
Kim: But this is fucking weird.
Sequoia: What the fuck? Ginny cocked her head only slightly, so that the fresh scar on her neck was only peeking out from her ebony robes. Yeah, ebony. Yeah.
Kim: Yeah! Goth vampire starter kit!
Sequoia: They come. With. Your. Changing! [both laugh]
Kim: Oh great.
Sequoia: Mmm. “I wanted to give you something, Harry.” [Kim laughs] What? [Kim continues to laugh] Ginny’s memory returned to the week before, when she had bumped into the man. No. The beast, who had whispered these same words to her.
Kim: Great.
Sequoia: Nay! The beast! [both laugh]
Kim: Is that how she thinks of herself now, too?
Sequoia: The beast?
Kim: I’m a wild animal! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: But graceful… in my darkness. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Oh good.
Sequoia: “I want to give you life.”
Kim: No, that’s literally not… What? No… What? No.
Sequoia: I don’t think you unders... I don’t think you... I don’t think you get what’s…
Kim: Ginny, what? Buddy.
Sequoia: ...happened to you.
Kim: I do like that she’s still going by Ginny and she’s hasn’t, like, chose a gothier version of her name.
Sequoia: Oh no! No, I wish she had!
Kim: I am Giniferenefenalia. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: What is that?!
Kim: It’s a name. I made it.
Sequoia: No it’s not. No, it’s just like a conglomeration of sounds! [both laugh] That was nothing!
Kim: That’s how… that’s how you name characters when you’re writing.
Sequoia: Oh.
Kim: You just mash on the keyboard. In, like, the vowel… consonant… kinda alternate…
Sequoia: Okay. Right. Yeah.
Kim: And then you have a name!
Sequoia: Mhm. Sure, okay.
Kim: Make sure to get some apostrophes in there, too!
Sequoia: At least twelve. [Kim laughs] “I want to give you life.” Harry’s mouth parted in shock. “I don’t understand.”
Kim: Does he think he’s gonna get some?
Sequoia: Hey, why’d you ask me to come out here… Ginny?
Kim: Ginny.
Sequoia: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I’m saying?
Kim: You’ve been acting super weird for the past week. [Sequoia laughs] Ginny…
Sequoia: You’ve been wearing all black and I’m not really sure about it but I’m into it! [Kim laughs]
Kim: Keep hissing at windows… [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: She fluttered her long eyelashes.
Kim: She was practising earlier.
Sequoia: Yeah, practising! “Harry… I want to give you eternity.” She drew closer, and Harry was looking about her nervously. “Ginny, please tell me what you’re on about. Is this about Ron? Ginny, if you need to talk…”
Kim: ‘Cause I do.
Sequoia: “Ron?” Ginny said...
Kim: Poor Ron.
Sequoia: …her eyes clouding over. “Ron?! Why speak of the dead? They are no longer here to fight their own battles, wage their own opinions and see their own blood spill from their veins. They are what they are. They are dead.” [Kim laughs]
Kim: She is so… [both laugh] That’s so cool!
Sequoia: She is killing it.
Kim: Oh yeah.
Sequoia: The… the vampire vibe.
Kim: Oh yeah, she’s like… in it...
Sequoia: Exactly.
Kim: ...to win it. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: She got bit by the vampire and all of a sudden she’s like, I was born in the 1800s. [both laugh]
Kim: I’m going to give… speeches!
Sequoia: Yeah! Wage their own… opinions! And see their blood spill from their veins!
Kim: It’s, like, kinda Shakespearian even.
Sequoia: Yeah, I know.
Kim: ‘S good.
Sequoia: Harry winced. “Ginny, what’s the matter?” “I do n…” [cuts herself off, laughing. Kim joins in] Sorry! I’m sorry! ‘Kay. “I do not wish to speak of matters of the heart!” I dunno…
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: Fine.
Kim: Fine.
Sequoia: Ginny spat. Then, regaining her composure, she laid a porcelain white finger on his cheek. “I wish to speak of eternity. Of forever.”
Kim: Nothing has ever gone well after that sentence.
Sequoia: I wish to speak of eternity?!
Kim: Someone, like… someone… someone comes up to you and says that… [Sequoia laughs] You are for sure about to get something bad happen here.
Sequoia: “I wish to speak of eternity. Of forever. Of life. Of you and I. Do you wish to die, Harry?”
Kim: That sounds like a threat. [laughs]
Sequoia: Yeah. I know. Like…
Kim: That…
Sequoia: I am offering you eternity, do you wish to die? [Kim laughs] Harry’s like, what the fuck is going on?
Kim: C’mon buddy. Shing shing.
Sequoia: “I don't wish to die.” Harry said...
Kim: Good, good. Harry’s on it. He’s… he’s ready.
Sequoia: ...his voice catching. “But if I had to, I would want to go the same way Ron did. He was a true hero.” “Heroism is for the books, Harry.” [Kim laughs] Ginny said softly. [both laugh]
Kim: She’s so cool!
Sequoia: She’s so cool! [Kim sighs] Ginny said softly, locking his eyes with hers, not allowing him to break the gaze. “You are not a hero. You will never be a hero.”
Kim: Mean.
Sequoia: “But I can make you live. Live, so that you will never have to die a coward.” [laughing] What the fuck are you talking about? What…
Kim: What…
Both: ...is happening? [Kim starts to go a little hysterical]
Kim: Okay, she…
Sequoia: I…
Kim: At the beginning she was like, I need a human so I can experience the chase. [Sequoia laughs] Now she is just spouting some weird shit!
Sequoia: Yeah! Harry walks up and she’s like, actually I’d like to just abuse him for a while. [Kim laughs] Screw the chase! “Ginny! Stop talking nonsense! If Ron were here right now, he’d…” “He would tell you that you were a right hero about everything. That you get all the attention. That you were a bad friend,” she whispered.
Kim: Aw.
Sequoia: She’s just abusing him now. [Kim laughs]
Kim: That’s so mean!
Sequoia: So mean. [Kim sighs] She raised her lips and brushed them against the scar on his forehead. And, feeling liquid on his cheeks, she stared at him again.
Kim: She made him cry!
Sequoia: She made him cry.
Kim: Oh my gosh!
Sequoia: She made him cry! [Kim laughs] Well she was being real fucking mean!
Kim: Yeah, that’s… not an okay thing to say!
Sequoia: No!
Kim: Oh, that’s so funny.
Sequoia: “I can give you power. I can give you life.”
Kim: Nope.
Sequoia: “I can make you invisible to the world, Harry. I can take every pain away from you.”
Kim: Huh?
Sequoia: “Every pain?” he repeated, watching her glowing eyes grow passionate.
Kim: ‘Kay, why is he listening to her now? [laughs]
Sequoia: Because she abused him for a while. Softened him up.
Kim: Okay.
Sequoia: “You can make me invisible?” “So that there is no more Harry Potter.”
Kim: Harry can al…. Harry can already be invisible.
Sequoia: Yeah, he literally entered with the invisibility cloak on.
Kim: Also, how can she make him invisible? If she wanted to be invisible, wouldn’t she have been doing that earlier when she was standing so perfectly still? [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: “So that there will be no more Harry Potter, the boy who lived. So that there will be no more press releases, owls from rabid fans. No more having to fight Lord Voldemort, and worries about dying. I can erase you, Harry.” She breathed, parting her lips to show her pointed fangs. “Let me erase you.” [both laugh]
Kim: In what… in what universe is that a thing that Harry wants?
Sequoia: I don’t know! [Kim laughs]
Kim: Awesome!
Sequoia: Harry’s eyes were wide with fright and temptation. [Kim snorts] “Ginny, I don’t wanna be like… that.” [both laugh]
Kim: Yeah. Okay.
Sequoia: “You have no choice.”
Kim: Oh shit.
Sequoia: Ginny licked her lips. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Yeah?
Sequoia: ‘“Just… just kill me then, Ginny!”
Kim: What?
Sequoia: “Why waste such perfection…?” [Kim sighs] “I can make you forever, Harry!” Tears were streaming down his face. “I don’t want to be forever!” [both laugh]
Kim: Oh. Poor Harry… forgot his stake.
Sequoia: Yeah. Yeah. You can never go out into the Forbidden Forest without your stake.
Kim: Mhm.
Sequoia: Harry.
Kim: Mhm. You need your spider repellent spray…
Sequoia: The vampires… yeah.
Both: Your stake. And your…
Sequoia: Wand!
Kim: Wand! [laughs]
Sequoia: Ya dipshit.
Kim: Just stab her with your wand!
Sequoia: You… you should’ve guessed there was no magic in this story. [sighs]
Kim: I already used that.
Sequoia: “I don’t want to be forever!” [Kim laughs] “Are you sure?” “I’m sure!” he said, his hands shaking. Ginny narrowed her eyes at the trembling boy. “Harry…” And with that final proclamation of his famous name, she could wait no longer. She plunged her canines into the soft skin and tissues of his neck hungrily and drank.
Kim: Oh. Poor buddy.
Sequoia: For her creator. For herself. For death. [whispers] For darkness. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Awesome!
Sequoia: The end!
Kim: Yes! [Sequoia laughs] What?
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: Yes.
Sequoia: Yes.
Kim: Great. Awesome.
Sequoia: I love her, she’s great.
Kim: ‘S… fucking crazy.
Sequoia: She’s… insane.
Kim: That’s great. [laughs and sighs]
Sequoia: Yep.
Kim: Thank you.
Sequoia: You’re welcome.
Kim: Thank you for finding that… bit of whatever. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: I like how we… she, like, lured him out there.
Kim: Uh huh.
Sequoia: She must have.
Kim: Yeah, she like wrote him a note and was like…
Sequoia: Hey.
Kim: Hey bb, come out to the forest tonight for some whatever. [Sequoia laughs] Harry’s like, I’m into some whatever.
Sequoia: Oh man.
Kim: Leave your wand and stakes. [both laugh]. But bring your toast.
Sequoia: Your toast! [Kim sighs]
Kim: And Harry’s like, yeah this sounds reasonable. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Okay. Whew. [Kim sighs]
Kim: Yeah, that was really good, thank you.
Sequoia: You’re welcome. [Kim laughs] I’m glad that went well, I haven’t read that in a while.
Kim: Dark Ginny stories are f... always funny to me.
Sequoia: They’re great.
Kim: Always funny.
Sequoia: Also, like, vampire stories where someone…
Kim: Mhm.
Sequoia: One of the trio, or whomever.
Kim: Mhm.
Sequoia: Oftentimes Harry is a vampire. Or Draco. Most of the time, Draco’s a vampire.
Kim: [laughs] Always Draco.
Sequoia: Yeah, so… those are pretty common.
Kim: I guess, yeah.
Sequoia: And I felt like the Ginny as a vampire was not something that I had seen before.
Kim: Ah. Yeah. Huh.
Sequoia: But it was like, y’know, it was a... like… I have seen vampires before.
Kim: Mhm.
Sequoia: Many times. But this was just, like, a different way.
Kim: [in mock shock] You’ve seen vampires? [laughs]
Sequoia: Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my God.
Kim: All right. I apologize for doing that. [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: I haven’t seen ANY vampires. None. [both laugh]
Kim: So we said we were gonna start a new segment and we totally forgot last time, but I didn’t forget this time! I didn’t!
Sequoia: Yeah. It was me that remembered.
Kim: Dammit. [laughs]
Sequoia: But it’s fine.
Both: Whatever.
Kim: Here we go! It’s time for…
Both: [sing-song voices] Summariiiiies!
Sequoia: We were really excited about this… this segment and it’s turned out to be… fine. [Kim laughs] But we’re gonna keep doing it because we said we were gonna do it, okay? [Kim sighs] Here we go. She wanted a chase. She wanted excitement. She wanted a human. And a human she would have. [Kim laughs] That was the summary that would make me be, like, yes.
Kim: Oh. That is a really interesting sounding summary. But! She literally didn’t chase anyone! [both laugh] She just made Harry cry!
Sequoia: She wanted a chase… she didn’t really get it. [Kim sighs] She wanted excitement… it was fine. She wanted...
Kim: I mean, she got excited by standing still. [laughs]
Sequoia: She got excited by the scent of cinnamon.
Kim: Oh no… [both mutter unintelligibly] Burnt toast. All right, awesome.
Sequoia: Okay.
Kim: Cool.
Sequoia: Cool.
Kim: Do you have a recommendation for us today?
Sequoia: I do! So today I’m gonna be recommending some Ron/Hermione dribble drabble fluff. It’s called Finding the Right Words. And it’s… it’s a… it’s a thing. Anyway, I think Ron is pretty well characterized in this, which is saying a lot. And I hope you enjoy it. Link will be in the description.
Kim: That sounds great! [Sequoia laughs]
Sequoia: Great!
Kim: I look forward to reading it.
Sequoia: Excellent.
Kim: And, as always, I’m gonna ask the listeners if any… anyone, ANYONE is reading these. Please let us know.
Sequoia: I keep telling people to read them because a couple people have sent us messages or emails or things or tweeted being like, oh I caught up on the podcast, I’m so sad! And I’m like…
Kim: Mhm.
Sequoia: ...but now, you could read the recommendations.
Kim: We… we… we generally... actually, the recs we usually have are really short. They’re usually about the same lengths as the stories we read because we are reading for the podcast, so…
Sequoia: Exactly. Like, we don’t go outside of that generally.
Kim: Yeah.
Sequoia: Outside of the search parameters that we use for the…
Kim: It won’t take you that long to just look at any of them.
Sequoia: ...podcast. Yeah. I might go outside of the search parameters some day and find you some next gen stuff or something like that.
Kim: Please do.
Sequoia: If there’s anything specific that you want...
Kim: Yeah! If you want us to rec certain things, ask for it.
Sequoia: Yeah! We’ll totally do that, so… We want you to read more fanfiction because fanfiction is fucking delightful!
Kim: Love it!
Sequoia: Love it!
Kim: Speaking of getting into contact with us, as I was just yelling into this microphone, [Sequoia laughs] there are a lot of ways you can do that.
Sequoia: You can contact us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, @FanaticalFics.
Kim: Yep. We also have an email address, if you wanna send us any, like, longer thoughts, I guess? It’s fanaticalfics@gmail.com.
Sequoia: If you have anything that you would like us to read…
Kim: I love reading fanfiction.
Sequoia: We love reading fanfiction.
Kim: I love your submissions, also. We’ve gotten some really great shit. [laughs]
Sequoia: Yeah, keep sending it in! We have a submission form. It’s in the description for every episode. It’s linked there. Send us…
Kim: Some whatever!
Sequoia: ...literally anything! If you…
Kim: I love it!
Sequoia: ...enjoyed it for ANY reason, we want to read it.
Kim: Yeah! Doesn’t matter if it’s in the parameters of what we’re looking for.
Sequoia: Nope.
Kim: But if it is we might use it.
Sequoia: If it… yeah, we might use it. So please…
Kim: Send us… it.
Sequoia: ...send us those things. [Kim laughs] As I was cleaning my room the other day…
Kim: You did what?
Sequoia: I was cleaning my room.
Kim: That doesn’t sound right.
Sequoia: I know, right? I’m… I’ve been morphed into adult, somehow.
Kim: Gross.
Sequoia: As I was cleaning my room, I realised that I have a lot of merch sitting around. And so if you would like some of that merch please get in contact with us. We’ve got stickers.
Kim: Yep.
Sequoia: We have t-shirts. And if you want me to just send you some business cards that you just, like, wanna have to give to your friends, I will just send those to you for free. [Kim laughs]
Kim: Yeah, the stickers… there’s a order form in the episode description.
Sequoia: Yes, there’s always an order form for stickers in the episode description. We only have a couple of t-shirts. They’re the Dramione, Drarry, Dron, Drinny t-shirts. We have, like, one small, and a couple mediums and a large. So if you are interested in that, definitely… definitely send us, like, a direct message on Twitter.
Kim: Yeah!
Sequoia: Or Instagram or Facebook. And…
Kim: Let us know.
Sequoia: Or email us and I will get back to you about that. We would love to get you one. They’re fun.
Kim: Mhm. They are fun. If you like this podcast, there are a few different various ways that you can support us, I guess.
Sequoia: Yeah! [Kim laughs] If you could leave us a review on iTunes or on Facebook, that would be so wonderful.
Kim: Yup! We will shout out to you at the top of the episode.
Sequoia: Yes, as we did today.
Kim: We sure did.
Sequoia: We sure did! [Kim laughs] So thank you to everybody who has left us a review. If you haven’t, get on over there! Leave us a review! We would love it.
Kim: Say… this is a podcast. [laughs]
Sequoia: Don’t say that. Don’t say…
Kim: Five outta five!
Sequoia: Why? Oh God, no. Just say more than that.
Kim: A podcast!
Sequoia: Oh God.
Kim: That I have listened to.
Sequoia: Oh geez… [both laugh] Or alternatively, or if you’ve already done that, you can suggest this podcast to a friend. Or two. Or five. Or ten.
Kim: I have a friend! Hey! You should…
Sequoia: It’s me. [laughs]
Kim: You should listen to this podcast I have.
Sequoia: See how I saw where you were going with that joke?
Kim: Dammit! [groans in exasperation]
Sequoia: Transparent! [Kim laughs] None of our friends listen to the podcast. [both laugh and then sigh] Joking, we love you.
Kim: We love them anyway. The third way that you can support us, as always, is our Patreon. We have some cool swag, some bonus written content, some bonus audio content over there. So if you’re interested, the link’s in the description. Drop on by and help us out.
Sequoia: One of the things that’s cool on Patreon, one of the perks, is that after six months we do a shout out on the pod!
Kim: On… live! On the air!
Sequoia: Live on the air!
Kim: Nope, not like that.
Sequoia: No? Okay. [both laugh] Well, we do a shout out and we do them in the…
Kim: We do them as a character based shout outs, and also as kind of story summary shout outs, so…
Sequoia: So here we go!
Kim: Here we go. [stuck up voice] “You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! What you’ve done today was a step too far! I just finished helping Professor McGonagall separate Michael from that poor third year and Brittney is still trapped on the ceiling!” [Sequoia laughs] “I’m going to make sure that you’re in detention for the rest of your lives.” [both laugh] Sequoia?
Sequoia: It’s common knowledge that Fred and George test their merchandise on clueless first years. But what happens when a particular first year isn’t clueless at all? Will Tory be able to prank the pranksters? Or will the whole lot end up in detention with McGonagall? [Kim laughs] AN: F and G have got to get pranked eventually, right though? Laugh crying emoji.
Kim: “Gadzooks, Hermione! I thought you liked it like that!” [Sequoia laughs] That’s all for that one.
Sequoia: That’s… you know who you are. [both sigh] Well, those were fun.
Kim: Cool.
Sequoia: I like doing those.
Kim: All right. Thanks for listening, as always.
Sequoia: As always.
Kim: And thanks to The Whomping Willows for letting us use their amazing song, Wolfstar. Bye!
Sequoia: Bye!